Personally I don't think it matters as long as you make each other happy. A number of people I've met here are nervous about losing another relationship with the someone. Well, 5 years after my husband died of lung cancer I met a wonderful man who golden years together and he became ill. It was worth every moment of happiness we shared. Wishing you the best.
Sharon

I had a great time with a man thirteen years older. We went every where for seven years but he was only here in the winter. Many happy memories and we are still friends .
For the past two years, I've been seeing a man who lives ten minutes away. . He is two years younger. I don't think the age matters but if you are looking for marriage then you do have to think about about health yours and his. I guess five years older or younger would be fine. Hugs, Dolores

I agree that in a friendship it doesn't matter at all! I was more referring to a long-term commitment. One very nice widower I know is 9 years older than me, and I seriously doubt that he is interested. His late wife was 10 years older than him! I think that is the part that bothers me. Another man who is made out of the stuff GQ magazine puts out in the looks department is 13 years younger than me. You know how it is when you reach a certain age; you can't guess others' ages. He's a divorcee who seems happy being single, and I don't know him personally - haven't met him. I'm like chiding myself for feeling this attraction to someone on IG who lives clear across the country and sometimes out of the country (he's a part-time missionary). Silly me. He hasn't requested to "follow" me, nor does he respond to my comments about his posts. He has a great sense of humor, but like I said, I found out that his best friend is my worst enemy. It's crazy. Maybe it's time to mend some fences. I don't know. Regardless, I wouldn't have a chance.

Age. Is it important? When I was 20 I could not have imagined a life with a man 13 years older. But at 40 I met Don. He was 13 years older and disabled. It didn't matter. We had 13 years together before he transitioned. If I had known in advance would I still have had that relationship? Absolutely. Now 5 years later I am in love again and he is 7 years older. It's very likely I will end up a widow again. Did I consider this before deciding to go ahead and share my life with him? Absolutely. What I know is that i survived the grief before. I can again. I don't want it but the alternative is to live alone for fear of pain. I would rather live fully however long the remainder of my life is. Was I looking to fall in love again? No. But love did happen and I embrace it fully.

onebrokenheart - I'm happy for you. Although I don't cherish the thought of burying a third husband, I know I don't want to spend the rest of my life alone either. My second husband was 8 years older than myself. I am hoping to find someone closer to my age or even younger. When it's the man who is younger than his wife, I wonder how that works. If it's quite a difference. Would I be able to keep up or please him, or would I always think he has eyes for younger and prettier women? People already think badly of me for wanting to even date, let alone remarry. Not that I care, but it makes me wonder if widowhood has maimed me in some way. I know it has aged me.

Hi. I haven't visited or posted on this site, or the WW site, for many months, but have been a member since 2013. Your post intrigued me and I have wondered the same thing. I was 3 1/2 years older than my late husband. I foolishly (and selfishly) thought that, since demographics showed that men tended to die at younger ages than women, I would have better odds of not being left behind. That was the practical side of me -- the inner me felt like Steve and I were meant to be together regardless of the age difference and I loved him with all my heart. Then,Steve died suddenly at age 59, and I had turned 63. And my theory was shot to h__l.

Rationally, I know I could possibly find someone else, and could love again. I'm pretty friendly, and not bad looking, for my age. But I, too, am attracted to younger men. I can fantasize about young athletes, musicians, men in the grocery store, etc,, all the while knowing that there's no way on God's green earth that they would want me, even in the off chance that we ever met. I guess I'm being shallow and immature.

Or maybe I'm just not ready to risk that kind of loss again.

Anyway, I think a 10 year younger man and I could succeed since there would be at least some common historical memories from the past. I wouldn't want to go much younger and have to explain why we stood up in cars, rode in the back of pickup trucks, explored our neighborhoods alone on bikes without helmets, bought 45s (records) or got excited about McDonald's with its 15 cent burgers.

I think older men can be very nice, and attractive too. But so far, I haven't met anyone who sets off any spark of interest, or if I have, they aren't interested or available.

And a final thought -- I still get pangs of envy for older couples who still shop and take walks together, etc. I know that if Steve had lived, I wouldn't care about the changes that age brings since we had a lifetime of history together and those things just don't matter after that much history. But starting off anew -- that concerns me from both the man's side and mine.

I hear your concerns I felt them too. I fell in love with him before he fell in love with me. I am no Barbie doll or runway model. However my late husband did instill me with confidence that I am attractive in my own way. For me I never cared about a person's appearance. Always it's been about the spirit inside. So I pushed my doubts and fears aside and said to myself not all men are shallow and some know the value of a good woman who has a heart of gold so if he or anyone else doesn't see it they can just kiss my grits and just not worth my time. So I remained friends with my guy waiting to see if he would ever raise his head above his own grief and see me for who I am. He did and has. I just think the right person comes at the right time and age isn't that much an issue. Love came along and smacked me full on. For him it was a gentle gradual knowing. But very undeniably deep love and caring.

Hey, this board is coming alive! And to think I was doing a random post. I agree with you, onebrokenheart, that it has to begin with friendship. Anyway, in about a week I'll be across the country visiting. Who knows, I could meet someone there. I still comment on Mr. GQ's posts, but am fully aware that he is out of my league. I also wonder why his wife left him, and where she went. I'm sure there's a line of women outside his door. Maybe it's his accent and his sense of humor that attract me. Am I fantasizing? Perhaps. Or just finding out my type. Someone told me a year ago that it was uncomely of me to talk about men (at my age). I told her off. At least I'm not stoic.

I am in a relationship after being a widow twice not working out to well here turns out he has a big problem with alcohol he is getting help now but not sure if I want to deal with this. Just to much heartache. I say this just sucks I want my old life back and can't have it!

I have a comment, but i will start a new post.