Hi Russ ~ yes I feel the same way. It's been about 2 1/2 years since I lost Ron, and intense moments of sadness and anxiety hit me at times. I don't think these feelings will ever completely disappear. Our spouses were our lives, and now we have to find a new way of being happy and living a meaningful life without them. Wishing you gentle days, Lori

Yes. I guess the loss of future with him was the first I accepted but sometimes that sense of his presence not being here comes out of the blue. I miss him. I knew him and he knew me. And now life is different.

I am 8 years out and re-married and once in awhile it will hit me so hard I can hardly breathe. I am beginning to accept that I will never be over this loss and that I am going to panic and want to find my way back to the old life. Life goes on and it is ok but will never be the same. I need to find joy in the fact that I was lucky to have had a wonderful marriage of 38 years. Bonnie

I'm almost at three years too. Like you, I've stayed busy, and I'm getting fairly used to living alone even though I still hate it. I've told people that my daily lifestyle probably would have been less affected if I'd had both legs amputated than it has been by the loss of my husband and my mother (my only family) in the same year. Now I've built a new lifestyle. My friends are proud of me, so I must not have screwed it up too badly. :-) But like you, I occasionally get that OMG kicked-in-the-stomach moment--usually when a song comes on the radio that my husband liked and I haven't heard in a long time. That moment of "I will NEVER see him again" sucks the breath right out of my body. But it passes, a lot faster than it used to. And then I just go back to trying to make him proud of me.

You and I joined this list around the same time. I'm glad you're still here, and I hope it's still helping. I wish you a New Year of growth and healing. It's a long, long process. HUGS!

I'm almost at three years also, Russ, and still shocked how intense the emotions can be sometimes. It's hardest lately when I look at my son - he looks so much like his father - especially from the shoulders down, their bodies are just about identical.
There are times when I find I wonder if the 22 years before were really all just a dream. That the life I have now with just me and the kids are my only reality. Was Robert real or did I just dream him? Of course I have the living evidence of his existence with me every day. But there is almost a surreal quality to it all.

I have noticed that these episodes are becoming fewer and farther between. And that they don't seem to take my breath away quite as much as they used to. I suppose that means that I'm recovering. At least I hope so.

Well it's been 6 years. Holidays are by far the worst for me. We married when I was 19 & he 21. Married for 31 1/2 years! We went through so much together. We were truly best friends and did every thing together. Unfortunately I remarried and that was the biggest mistake of my life. He wanted the money. Divorce will be final this week I hope. Married for 6 months. I was in a bad car accident that the highway patrol officer that witnessed it told him when he got to the scene I should have been killed. I was doing 65 & a lady doing 1 pulled right out in front of me. When I asked him for a hug that night he wouldn't give it then or the next 2 nights I asked for it. I knew then he never loved me. Then he wasn't going to take me for medical care even though I was not to drive myself. So I decided it was over! Good riddens! He was a hillbilly jerk. If you had told me 1 year ago that now I would have decided the only way to really know someone was to live with them first I would have said no way. I am a born again Christian & I will not have sex outside of marriage as God is clear on that one but I can't find where it would be wrong to live together first. No more vows before God that I will break again. I'm a lot wiser a little less money and will NOT go through another divorce. Be SO VERY careful when dating ANYONE on line. I wish all of you the very best but wanted to hopefully keep someone else from being taken advantage of in our grief & loneliness!

My first wife and I had been married 40 years and she was everything to me, we had one daughter. She died 7 years ago. That was it for me I thought I could get by but I was hurting real bad and worst of all I was lonely and found that I was easily abandoned when people knew my situation, very little empathy. After 3 years I met through my business what I can describe as an angel sent to help me along, she changed my life somewhat back to normality. She was a widow too, we got on so well and after a year I moved in with her, I couldnt believe that this had happened to me as I was so down. We spent all our time together and then disaster, like she had been called upon, that she had done her work and she too was taken on the 29th September this year, Im 72 now and finding it more difficult to accept, I havent much motive anymore, I try very hard but the bad days are really bad. My belief in God is now very mixed, they say everything is for a reason, Im not sure. Peter

I forgot to add that to have another relationship with a widow or widower, for me anyway was the best thing. I still talked about my wife as she spoke of her husband and her love for him, it was totally acceptable on both parts and so much in common with each others feelings.

Going on 3 years Feb 11th. I like being on my own. Don't cry and carry on any more. I just can't seem to know where I go from here. I have been on dates, am a serial dater, lol. A friend of mine (male) lost his wife in June, came here in July, went home (700 miles). Met a woman in Nov, now is madly in love, and getting married again, after 26 years with his wife. What am I missing? Sandee

I am quite comfortable on my own, lonely but comfortable. at 62 i don't think i will ever date or remarry. I am not really an outgoing person. Maybe it is because Larry has only been gone a year. I do not think that the sadness ever truly goes away. We learn to accept it and live with it. Patti

It will be two years in March that my husband passed. I live alone in my house with no relatives nearby so have to always plan the activities or I would just be sitting here. Not sure at my age if I should go to a retirement community and have all the activities surround me or just stay put. In the two years, just one man approached me and was circling the wagon I feel to ask me out, and I busted out crying. So still protecting my heart.