HOPEFUL HEARTS...LIVING AGAIN AFTER THE LOSS Community Group

We are a group of people who have grieved the loss of a spouse, partner, or lover and are searching for a life without our mate. Some looking for their own identity as an individual or finding a life for themself. Some looking for companionship or a serious relationship with someone new. And some just feeling lost and unsure. We offer encouragement, support and virtual...

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NewRoadsForMe 06/03/2012

For many years, even before my husband died, we would eat at Village Inn a lot and see this man who was always there alone reading the newspaper. Now my husband has been gone for 2 and a half years. I continue seeing this man at Village Inn, but I don't go there very often.

The other day while at WalMart, I saw him for the first time outside of Village Inn. He was walking toward me and I looked away until just before we passed and I glanced up with a small smile (courtesy smile) toward him. In a mili-second he winked at me...and then he was gone without missing a step.

I always thought he looked interesting to me. Wondering how I might find out more about him? Would it be stupid to talk to one of the waitresses there and inquire as to whether he is single and if they know anything about him? If they say he is OK, how do I go about "meeting" him? Any ideas?

deauxgirl 06/03/2012

Boy, that's a sticky situation. I've never approached a man before. If you know the waitress, I guess you could ask about him. I'd start going to the Village Inn and eating more and see what happens.

NewRoadsForMe 06/03/2012

Yeah, that's what I'd planned to do. We have 3 universities here and I always thought he looked "cerebral" like he was a professor. He's probably nowhere near being that, but you know how looks can lead you to surmise or make a guess. Yes, I know one of the waitresses pretty well (only from at the restaurant). She's really sweet and would probably think it was "cute" for an old person to be wanting to "meet" another old person! LOL! (She's young.) Thanks for your thoughts!

deleted_user 06/03/2012

I say go for it. Inquire about him. Life is short and there is no rule against you making the first move!

So, go to dinner, if you see him, walk right up to him and introduce yourself. You can use an opening line like "I've seen you here so many times and always wanted to say hello" My name is _______ , hold your hand out to shake his. You can do this!!

And don't forget to let us know what happens!

- Linda

Comfortablynumb 06/03/2012

Sometimes good things start with a simple "hello"
Good luck

jillieg 06/03/2012

my philosophy had always been "what's the worst that can happen?"....that he says I'm married? that he's gay? that he says "sorry, you must have misunderstood"? ....I like what Linda suggested as an icebreaker...sounds like a great start! who knows, maybe he is just looking for a lovely lady to spend some time with! you'll never know if you don't try...we're all behind you! blessings, Jill

deleted_user 06/03/2012

He maybe just as shy as you are. But really a wink, would have made me smile the rest of the day.

deleted_user 06/03/2012

TRIP HIM....!!!! BAG HIM!!!! Ha ha ha...
.now ask me why I ONLY go to the library on Tues. and Thurs.???
I just might have to have overdue books so Mr. ???? will spend more time with me!!!!!

It's much harder for a woman - I hate to make the first move. Maybe "hello, do you want to marry me?" nope guess you can't do that. Now you know why I'm still alone with cake to myself.

GOOD LUCK but I think that tripping him might be the way.

Vicki

OnMyOwn2010 06/03/2012

I'd ask about him first, just to fill in some of the blanks, so to speak, if possible. Then, if you're pleased with what you learn, take a chance & introduce yourself. Life is too short to just sit & wonder...and a wink is usually good sign... ;) lol
Blessings & Hugs, ~E~

deleted_user 06/03/2012

ASK the waitress...if she doesn't know she's probably able to find out for you, and maybe even play cupid.
Let us know how tomorrow morning's breakfast is.
Sending good karma your way,
Cathy

deleted_user 06/05/2012

What would you do if you had no fear of failure?

NewRoadsForMe 06/06/2012

Well, I went to that Village Inn today during "slow" hours and I talked to the waitress I knew. She said he hasn't been to Village Inn for about 6 months, but she has seen him around town. She said he's a Vietnam Vet and that his mother died recently and left him her house and some money. His name is Bill. We have a Vietnam Vet center at the local VFW. He probably goes there. I think this is too far removed from me now and I should let it go.But she told me what kind of car he drives and what color it is, so I could see if his car is in the parking lot. She said he was very nice.

ciegee 06/07/2012

"I think this is too far removed from me now and I should let it go"

aww don't think that way. You never know maybe you will cross paths again soon.
After all you live in the same town.
How many have we seen here travel across the country to see each other.
hugs,
Cie

deleted_user 06/21/2012

I say go fo it. He sound interesting and we all need a friend. Let us know which action you took.

nowjustme 07/02/2012

I think you should go for it! Do what you gotta do an meet this guy.

Shrn 07/02/2012

My vote is back to the Village Inn and walk past him with a huge smile. I would you use a statement like no wink today? Or planning another trip to Walmart tonight? Or do you live nearby or do we just like the same places? If you really feel bold you could say mind if I join you? or is this chair taken?

You have nothing to lose if it doesn't go well just find a new Village Inn. LOL Sharon

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