HOPEFUL HEARTS...LIVING AGAIN AFTER THE LOSS Community Group

We are a group of people who have grieved the loss of a spouse, partner, or lover and are searching for a life without our mate. Some looking for their own identity as an individual or finding a life for themself. Some looking for companionship or a serious relationship with someone new. And some just feeling lost and unsure. We offer encouragement, support and virtual...

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mel40 02/07/2016

Valentine's Day is next Sunday! I challenged myself last year to see it in a New light! I looked for somebody that I could show love to and make a difference in their life! I chose a 97 year old bedridden friend. She was my Valentine! I loved her so much and the look of surprise on her face, I will never forget! She was incredibly happy! She died less than a month later.
I've chosen my Valentine for this year. A woman at my church who lost her husband this last Xmas eve. I've asked a few friends if they would like to join me and shower her with gifts. They have all decided to! And they love the idea! It is spreading... One friend has also decided to choose my daughter as her Valentine. My daughter is struggling with depression right now. What better medicine that chocolate? Lol!
I hope that as Valentines Day rolls around that each of us can see it as an opportunity to GIVE love and make a difference in somebody else's life! An opportunity to change the mindset! A gift for the present.
Take somebody else's heart in your hands and trust your heart in God's hands.
I think I might make a bracelet for my Valentine and give her flowers....

sandeestttn 02/07/2016

Valentine Day is the day of my husbands funeral. 3 years ago. It was the only day he actually got me gifts or paid any attention to me.

gerald222 02/07/2016

Mel I absolutely loved your idea! That is a challenge I think I will take.

jkeck 02/08/2016

What a wonderful idea, Mel! I am going to think about this as well!

regwin 02/08/2016

Great idea. Thanks for sharing.

avm99 02/08/2016

That's a great idea. I was also thinking about Valentine's Day and I will show the important people in my life that I appreciate me. For me these special people are the ones that have been by my side and they my kids my parents, my siblings, my grandmother, my closest friends and my new boyfriend.

Antonella

jkeck 02/08/2016

Sandee, I am very sorry for your loss and the pain this day will bring. I know that Valentine's Day is hard for so many people, but not too many people can relate to the intense loss on this day like you have. Hard to imagine that you might someday enjoy Valentine's day again, but as time passes I hope the happy memories that you shared with your husband on this day shine brighter than the pain. God Bless you!

Comfortablynumb 02/09/2016

Even in a past, my husband and I were not thrilled with the VD pressure ...... He always tried too hard showering me with stuff, making reservations, etc...and I always felt it was too much, I never liked the convention and conformity of it.

Since I am living alone now, my un-attached friends come to my house on VD. A few years ago we started a tradition a "candle making and pie baking" on Valentines Day.
What a mess we make in my kitchen! But we are having fun and enjoying each others company! No whining, wining or dining - just celebrating and spending time together; and we like the creative and craft making element in our defiant VD festivities.
Whatever you choose to do on VD, try to see the opportunity to experience harmony in your heart, feeling love, whether it is a friendship, or a charitable love....and if you decide to be alone, buy yourself a spa treatment, and pamper yourself lovingly.
Peace

letmehelpyou 02/09/2016

Mel:

This is a wonderful idea. I go to my mother's assisted living facility and pass out special cards with candies for the residents. We have a little party together and we have a lot of fun. It is amazing how good it feels to get out of your own skin.

Hugs,
Val

Joely 02/10/2016

Mel,
A great idea! I've already thought of a woman that is a member at my church, but, can no longer come to services. She is a very sweet lady and has cancer. I just may have to go see her! :-) Of course, I will go see my sister. She is in a nursing home and still makes things for others all the time.

I've already fixed several Valentine bags, cards, etc. ready for my kids, grandkids, my pastor and his wife, and my little Prayer partner. (on Wednesday nights our church has classes for the children and they pick a card out of a box, at the beginning of the new year in September, for their prayer partner). It is a blessing for both of us.
So, I will have to see ~~ I may need to add another person to my Valentine's list. Thanks for the idea!

mel40 02/10/2016

I received the greatest blessings by visiting Mildred, the 97 year old hokebound woman! She was also a widow and full of JOY! I miss her greatly but she had a profound influence in my life! She loved me and I loved her. I hope you do go visit, Joely! Bring laughter, peace, prayers and love! I'm still amazed at the reward I received by having that friendship!

lostmygem 02/12/2016

Mel,
Thank you for this. I'm very seldom on here but for some reason I was drawn this week. I loved your idea and just met a new friend who suffers from anxiety and depression, she is a very sweet woman and my heart breaks for her so b/c of your post I have decided to make her my Valentine and plan to take flowers and food to her on Sunday. So Thank You !!

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