Having to let Brad's ashes go probably is the reason you feel sad. I stayed on an emotional roller coaster for a long time. I enjoyed the good days when they were there and just went with the sad days when they happened. It's nice you have a good new man in your life. I wish you well. Hugs, Dolores

Thanks Dolores. I think I knew the answer but helps to hear it from someone else. You are so right sad days are ok and they don't just go away because you hit the "magic" 2 year mark. I think in some ways this part of the journey is hard in a different way. We will make it though! Hugs to you!

It changes with time. Maybe this new guy is willing to see it through and maybe he isn't. Sad days coke further apart but they are still there. So... if he is still around, take it as a good sign. Good luck!

You will find panic times hit you at odd times which is very normal. It took a lot of patience and perseverance for my new husband to finally get me married. Step back and realize it has only been two years for you and now you are going somewhere with your lost love and will be leaving him there which has put you into pure panic mode and our natural instinct is to run and fight. We humans are a resilient and wonderfully made creature but emotions can be fickle and unstable at the weirdest times. Be patient with yourself and your sweetheart, be open and honest with him and yourself that this has been a major upheaval in your life and sometimes it just takes over but it will get better. After 5 years I find myself on occasion wondering what am I doing here.. but I am so thankful to have found someone who loves me again and I work to make sure he knows that. It will never be the same but you will be ok. Bonnie

Thanks to all. Much needed words of encouragement! I felt better today and the sun was shining. Who knows what tomorrow will bring?

I don't find this odd at all. After 2 1/2 years I still have bad days and it being 2 years and you taking his ashes to Florida can sure be a trigger. Even being in a relationship can n be scary. I know you have been doing really y well so just consider this another small dip on the roller coaster ride.

Russ

I agree the upcoming trip to Florida probably was a trigger for your emotions. My biggest concern though, is your boyfriends response. Does he understand you lost your husband two years ago? And that this has changed everything? I think an honest talk with him about your feelings, your loss, and his needed understanding is needed. Sharon

I think it's just about the job you have to do. I think your doing a great job, keep it up.

I just want to add this. I remember several people saying after getting over the first year, the second year was a little harder for some reason. I believe its because you realize ok you got through those firsts tough feelings NOW what? And it kind of sets us off kittler - I think some thoughts of while I remember their voice, face and our lives or will they fade some or??? Bottom line more questions come up with grief around that time.
And now you have to deal with his ashes after all this time that has got to bring back emotions.
So I believe your emotions/feelings are very normal.

Hugs

After almost 6 years there are still times when the loss of my first husband hits me like a punch in the gut and the loss and pain are as fresh and real as if he died just yesterday. The loss of a spouse is not something you ever "get over". Its something you learn to live with and carry with you for the rest of your life.

Allow yourself to feel that loss.....and if the person you are with can't understand and comfort you in your loss, perhaps he isn't the right person for you.

I think you need your space, back to the boundaries we have to have to deal with our loss. In taking your husbands ashes you feel ready but maybe also need time for reflection, some alone time. From the date of your post I suppose you've already gone to Florida, I hope all went well for you.
Hugs,
Jean

Missing my husband who I lost 8 years ago never disappears. We just learn to react differently. Then suddenly it hits deep and the control is gone. The good news is we have learned to rebound on the outside, at least. I've been with Art almost 5 years now and we both have moments of loss. The good thing for us is we have each other to share them with. I truly feel a part of me knows his deceased wife as he knows my husband, even though they never met here on earth. Don't worry about grief rearing it's head. And don't let anyone make you doubt your feelings. Sharon