HOPEFUL HEARTS...LIVING AGAIN AFTER THE LOSS Community Group
We are a group of people who have grieved the loss of a spouse, partner, or lover and are searching for a life without our mate. Some looking for their own identity as an individual or finding a life for themself. Some looking for companionship or a serious relationship with someone new. And some just feeling lost and unsure. We offer encouragement, support and virtual...
Shrn mentioned this “Step 2” site which can be for widows/widowers who want to move on.
I found DSWW after 3 months of floundering after Marc’s sudden death, and it was the best thing that could have happened in my grief journey. I spent the first months in a dazed, anxious fog. I am usually happy, optimistic, busy and in charge, so those first feelings threw me for everything I had. I was completely unprepared for the shock of not having him anymore.
It’s been six months now. I spent umpteen hours night and day, which I feel slightly embarrassed about, obsessively reading DSWW, and gaining so much strength and help by doing so. I’ve also kept busy organizing my house and finances (putting everything on QuickBooks), and inviting friends, neighbors, and family over for barbecues, luncheons and dinners. I like to cook and entertain and am now comfortable doing it by myself, and even having couples over. I’m learning to just be “me” again, and not part of a couple.
I’m happy to find this site, because I have “Step 2” questions/thoughts I do not want to inflict upon the newly grieving. Those were raw days that I never want to re-visit.
Such as:
My husband and I loved each other passionately, and had a fun, glitzy life together. He was a Type A guy, and while I miss him, I’m enjoying the freedom of doing whatever I want, with whomever, whenever. I’m rearranging closets, doing things he wouldn’t particularly enjoy, and inviting people to stay with me that he wouldn’t be that excited to share his space with. I get to invest “our money" how I want (conservatively!), and not have to negotiate everything with him.
So I guess I am moving on. It’s good to see familiar people on this group, especially those that don’t post much on the Step 1 DSWW site anymore.
I found DSWW after 3 months of floundering after Marc’s sudden death, and it was the best thing that could have happened in my grief journey. I spent the first months in a dazed, anxious fog. I am usually happy, optimistic, busy and in charge, so those first feelings threw me for everything I had. I was completely unprepared for the shock of not having him anymore.
It’s been six months now. I spent umpteen hours night and day, which I feel slightly embarrassed about, obsessively reading DSWW, and gaining so much strength and help by doing so. I’ve also kept busy organizing my house and finances (putting everything on QuickBooks), and inviting friends, neighbors, and family over for barbecues, luncheons and dinners. I like to cook and entertain and am now comfortable doing it by myself, and even having couples over. I’m learning to just be “me” again, and not part of a couple.
I’m happy to find this site, because I have “Step 2” questions/thoughts I do not want to inflict upon the newly grieving. Those were raw days that I never want to re-visit.
Such as:
My husband and I loved each other passionately, and had a fun, glitzy life together. He was a Type A guy, and while I miss him, I’m enjoying the freedom of doing whatever I want, with whomever, whenever. I’m rearranging closets, doing things he wouldn’t particularly enjoy, and inviting people to stay with me that he wouldn’t be that excited to share his space with. I get to invest “our money" how I want (conservatively!), and not have to negotiate everything with him.
So I guess I am moving on. It’s good to see familiar people on this group, especially those that don’t post much on the Step 1 DSWW site anymore.
Whatever status, we all share one thing in common - coming from the other side of it, and learning that we are still here, so as Andy from a Shawshank Redemption stated "I guess it comes down to a simple choice, really. Get busy living or get busy dying." So we are busy living in our own new design.
Welcome
Hugs,
Val
Jean
After I post a new topic, I often hold my breath wondering if folks will think I’m a jerk or idiot. LOL
Luckily the ones that do are kind enough not to say so- what a nice group we have here.
Appreciate your understanding and support.