Good luck Mel!

I just passed 3 years on the 12th. I dated quite a bit in year 2 but almost none in year 3. Every time I dated I realized I wasn't ready. I wish I was as I miss having someone in my life but I just can't seem to feel anything for anyone else yet. So I went back to my Meet-Ups where I can socialize without the pressures of dating.

Wishing you the best of luck, as you seem to know what you want and are ready to move forward.

Russ

after dating on and off through these 3 years, and running men off. This last one, doesn't take NO for an answer, maybe that's what I need? He is persistent, And wants to take me places I have never been to. Locally... H is nice and fun, but I have NO physical attraction to him. and I o not care for his family, he babysits sometimes for his toddler grandchildren, they are completely spoiled!!!... I am done babysitting anymore. But he is fun to be around when we go places. Also he is a HOARDER. His days consist of getting up at 3 am, eating breakfast, driving to buy more cars, lunch at 9 am, snack for supper and to be in bed by 8 pm.... I have a normal routine... I just really think this isn't going to work, as I refuse to change my schedule that far off...

The concept of dating scared me. Probably because I hadn't dated since high school when I met my husband. I also wasn't very confident that I would want to, but I knew I was lonely for someone to socialize with and spend time with. I began by noticing people wherever I went. I made casual conversations, but not much more unless you count gaining confidence which was great. Moved to a dating site, but truly didnt plan to meet anyone. I was afraid of who I would find and if I'd be safe. Made a few friends, online only, and found Artie who I've been with 6 years now. Sharon

Good luck Mel! Here's to hoping you have a great time!

I've learned a great deal about myself and others through dating. Don't change who you are or what you do for another person, unless you want to. Dating has helped me discover "me", apart from being a couple. It's also helped me face my fears and learn about relationships in general. Because I am naturally driven to be successful, I look at what I want and learn about it. One thing I've learned is that I knew "one romantic relationship" very well. But my story isn't over. I have a great deal of love to give. That may not come in the form of a marriage or long term relationship but I'm still alive and in wonderment of life.
I hope that the men I've dated have benefitted from their interactions with me and that I wasn't one sided. Relationships take work, including the relationships I have with my children. This whole experience has helped me to not try so hard to be perfect, to listen to others better, to love myself more and trust myself and make more of an effort to positively impact this world in a genuine way.
When I became a widow, there was only "one" man I could love. Now, I realize that I can love more than one and I can handle their vulnerabilities and fears because I'm learning to handle my own. It's not about finding "the right person" as much as it is about learning about myself and others and letting them be them and me be me.
Hope that makes sense.
The ex fiancé showed me some very deep personal wounds of his and it was in those moments that I realized that I really want that kind of connection, where a person feels safe with me. It's a work in progress. I'm learning how to be that "safe" person that allows people to be who they are.

This guy is running into me all over town. Last night we talked for over 3 hours. He is trying to convince me to marry him, or at least, move in with him. He keeps telling me how fond he is of me, and said that scares him, to feel about someone so much. I have a appointment in April with a specialist for DVT. He is taking me, as my kids haven't even talked to me. He seems so concerned. ???? Sandee

Hi Sandee, Question is do you want to jump into a relationship with him or do you want to take it slow? If he thinks he is scared, what about you? If he loves you then he can wait till you know for sure how you feel. I do believe it is very nice he wants to take you to the specialist. My husband hated doctors, he would drive me there if forced to but he sure would not go in with me. Should I find another fella in my life, I hope he is the kind to hold my hand when I am at the doctor. ~~~cheryl

Sandee your guy seems very nice, interested in your well being. That is not often found. best wishes

Hi Judy,
I've tried several dating sires over the last 1.5 years. E-harmony, Match, okcupid, seniorpeoplemeet, ourtime, Plenty of Fish....
Match and POF were the best in terms of prospects for my area. I found out, after I paid for a subscription on eHarmony, that they pad their 'catalogue' using the free weekends, but you never hear back from those people because they cannot reply unless they pay.
No matter which site you use:
- don't fall for people's protestations of love if they haven't even met you yet. It's a common trick of scammers.
- avoid long distance; in most cases it doesnt work out (yes, there's exceptions, Sharon is one.) scammers often tell you they will move to your city.
- ask to meet them for coffee within 7-10 days - this usually weeds out the scammers.
Art and I met on POF, and are greatly enjoying our new relationship. Keep in perspective that you may not like any or all the guys you meet, just like when we were younger and dating. It's all trial and error.
Good luck.