HOPEFUL HEARTS...LIVING AGAIN AFTER THE LOSS Community Group

We are a group of people who have grieved the loss of a spouse, partner, or lover and are searching for a life without our mate. Some looking for their own identity as an individual or finding a life for themself. Some looking for companionship or a serious relationship with someone new. And some just feeling lost and unsure. We offer encouragement, support and virtual...

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mel40 02/12/2015

I am developing feelings for this man. It scares me. It's new. It's not what I have felt in the past for the guys I've dated. In the past I felt chemistry, attraction. I felt appreciative of the attention. I felt I wanted companionship. Last night, after talking on the phone for 45 minutes, my heart swelled. I began to cry because I am beginning to have feelings for this man. I've gone on 2 dates with him.
I'm confused by these feelings because it scares me to have feelings after 2 dates. When I cried last night, I understood what I felt. I wasn't crying because of sadness. I was crying because I felt. I felt something in my heart for this man.

sassiesoftail 02/12/2015

Congratulations on finding your heart. you stated you only went on 2 dates, but how many hours have been spent communicating? Have you been texting, emailing and talking on the phone?
The reason I ask is that I have also met someone and have feelings for him But we did communicate for 6 weeks prior to meeting.
It's strange we are the best of friends, we are so much alike it is scary. We can talk for hours, and I mean hours on the phone. He lives out of state, I did go and visit him at the beginning of January and we decided to maybe just be friends. Distance and some other concerns came into play.
I am flying out tonight to spend the weekend with him and he keeps saying he doesn't know how I could be attracted to him. He is overweight, and he keeps telling me that I have such an amazing physique that I should surly be with someone who is the same. Would I have been attracted to him had I met him in person first? Maybe not, but I got to know his soul.
So I found this quote:
To love someone you have to
see their soul. You have to
look beyond their form.
Even if it's scary don't lose the chance to find love again. I wish you all the luck in the world.
Hugs, Sandi

Shrn 02/12/2015

I talked with Art for weeks before agreeing to meet, so the "ground work "was started. On that first meeting I knew that this could be more than a friendship. We still took it slow romantically, but the feelings were there. Been together 4 years now. Good luck. Sharon

mel40 02/12/2015

Yes to all forms of communication. Probably a month of communicating. But it was the first conversation on the phone that I felt very comfortable with him and wanted to get to know him better. I felt like we could be very good friends and I enjoyed the conversation. I can't even describe the feelings I have, but they are good. And it's those same "good feelings" that bring tears to my eyes and make my heart want to burst.
I'm enjoying this moment. It may not last. I will savor it!

SayCindy 02/13/2015

Mel, I am so happy for you! Yes, savor it.

woodfencing 02/14/2015

Good for you!

tlsom 02/18/2015

Mel-- I am very happy for you! Attraction and chemistry are good and at some point needed if it turns into a relationship. But the feelings you are speaking of are the feelings that go the distance. We age, we change, so some of the 'stuff' associated with the intense chemistry at the beginning fades (sometimes--don't want to speak for all or offend anyone). I think this is great news...real, grounded feeling is a wonderful thing and I so very happy for you! You deserve it, my friend.

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