HOPEFUL HEARTS...LIVING AGAIN AFTER THE LOSS Community Group
We are a group of people who have grieved the loss of a spouse, partner, or lover and are searching for a life without our mate. Some looking for their own identity as an individual or finding a life for themself. Some looking for companionship or a serious relationship with someone new. And some just feeling lost and unsure. We offer encouragement, support and virtual...
Having a hard time. In the last year, I've married off 2 kids and had 2 grandchildren and my daughter turned 16. While for the most part, grief is in the background, it still has its place in my life.
Today, I'm upset with my boyfriend for being my boyfriend. Why? Because it's another reminder that I'm a widow.
I'm hurting today. Even though the sun is out and the weather is wonderful.
I let him know this morning that I was struggling. Let's see if he can handle this? I feel myself pulling back into my shell, hiding while I hurt. Vulnerable. Trying to go back into the past when I had somebody at home, secure, loved, supporting me.... I remember it. And as much as it hurts to move forward alone, I've proven over the past 2 years that I can do it. And I've done it well. But can I move forward with somebody else in my life? I don't know. Today, I'm pulling the shades and just keeping these feelings company until they pass.
My heart hurts while it has hope at the same time.
Today, I'm upset with my boyfriend for being my boyfriend. Why? Because it's another reminder that I'm a widow.
I'm hurting today. Even though the sun is out and the weather is wonderful.
I let him know this morning that I was struggling. Let's see if he can handle this? I feel myself pulling back into my shell, hiding while I hurt. Vulnerable. Trying to go back into the past when I had somebody at home, secure, loved, supporting me.... I remember it. And as much as it hurts to move forward alone, I've proven over the past 2 years that I can do it. And I've done it well. But can I move forward with somebody else in my life? I don't know. Today, I'm pulling the shades and just keeping these feelings company until they pass.
My heart hurts while it has hope at the same time.
Russ
So don't judge yourself for this. Honor yourself that this is what you need right now...some quiet time to process your feelings.
Sending big hugs.
-Jac
Going through these milestones is just always jolting. I think we oddly hope with a new love comes ease of these emotions but its just plain not true, hence the idea expressed here before regarding 2 hearts seems true. One will always be for the lost love.
Blessings as you mark two years without your love