HOPEFUL HEARTS...LIVING AGAIN AFTER THE LOSS Community Group
We are a group of people who have grieved the loss of a spouse, partner, or lover and are searching for a life without our mate. Some looking for their own identity as an individual or finding a life for themself. Some looking for companionship or a serious relationship with someone new. And some just feeling lost and unsure. We offer encouragement, support and virtual...
Hi all, I need some advice.
A little background; First, I work at a local college and I have a lot of people in the community that I deal with on a regular basis. We often are meeting up and luncheons, fund raisers and community meetings and are all very cordial. Second, I am rather private about my family/personal life, not really mixing the two, so most of the people know I am widowed but beyond that they know very little (i.e. that I now have a girlfriend).
OK, here is my issue. There is a lady that I work with from time to time, sometimes I will hire her to do contract work for the college, sometimes we will carpool to regional meetings, we usually have lunch every other month to catch up on things going on in the business community, etc. You probably figured out where this is going. A couple of days ago she was talking with a woman in my department at a luncheon, she inquired how I was doing and asked her what she thought about asking me out.
I not sure what to do or how to handle this? Wait for it to happen, try to head it off, what???
Thanks for any insights you can give me.
-Pete-
A little background; First, I work at a local college and I have a lot of people in the community that I deal with on a regular basis. We often are meeting up and luncheons, fund raisers and community meetings and are all very cordial. Second, I am rather private about my family/personal life, not really mixing the two, so most of the people know I am widowed but beyond that they know very little (i.e. that I now have a girlfriend).
OK, here is my issue. There is a lady that I work with from time to time, sometimes I will hire her to do contract work for the college, sometimes we will carpool to regional meetings, we usually have lunch every other month to catch up on things going on in the business community, etc. You probably figured out where this is going. A couple of days ago she was talking with a woman in my department at a luncheon, she inquired how I was doing and asked her what she thought about asking me out.
I not sure what to do or how to handle this? Wait for it to happen, try to head it off, what???
Thanks for any insights you can give me.
-Pete-
Here's another area, where men are different from women. Women would have let all their co-workers know they had a boyfriend, especially after they had moved in. I think it would be a kindness to mention you have a girlfriend to this lady, the next time you are together, so she doesn't embarass herself. You don't have to go into details, just mention how blessed you are, to have found love again. Wish you luck, sticky situation.
Paula
I agree with Paula 100%. Best to address it head on and make sure there are no hurt feelings........especially in view of the fact that you will continue to work with her.
Dianne
Linda
After I told my minister that I was dating, he said that he wish he'd known I was ready, he had a special someone in the wings waiting! Life is a mystery for sure.
Bostonjules
Now to figure out how to do it. Normally around this time, since I haven’t heard from her in a while, I would email and suggest we grab lunch to catch up. Would that set up any unrealistic expectations? I could wait until the next chamber mixer or industry luncheon but that might be a while before we “run into” each other.
"Demographically, in the over 50 population, there are a whole lot more single women alive than single men -- way more. So, a single man that is smart, attractive, and a widower, is in very high demand. If you think about it, it makes sense. Of the three categories of single men you have “never married” (usually unprepared for a relationship), divorced (from one to many times, ick) or a man who was so special that a woman stayed with him for 20, 30 or 40 years. Truly the gold standard of single men."
For what it's worth, lols.
-Pete-
Linda
Just a thought and good luck
Cindy