Hey everyone I believe I am suffering from HOCD. A month ago my boyfriend cheated on me. Then, a week later while he was giving me oral sex, I began to think of a girl and got aroused and even orgasmed. I did it on about four other occasions after that.In the past, I was always aroused with him and orgasmed and I was more than happy with our sex life so there wasn't need for me to think of the girl. My boyfriend found out I had those thoughts and was furious, so I went to a therapist looking for answers. I never thought of a girl in that manner and even after thinking about the girl during oral sex, I didn't see women in any sexual way. I watched lesbian porn and was aroused to that, but many straight women watch that for pleasure as well. The lesbian porn is arousing because its more sensual to me than straight porn and focuses on stuff that pleases a women. I was able to masturbate and orgasm to the porn. Im not interested in having a sexual encounter with a woman in real life but now my mind just keeps obsessing over it. I constantly stare at pictures of women and see if Im aroused. I was never aroused to a picture of a woman but now I feel like my mind is tricking me into it because after I calm down from my phases of overthinking I feel regular and unaffected by the pictures. I wish I never experimented thinking of a girl during oral sex because I would've never had this overthinking. I never really doubted my sexuality and was always comfortable in it. I would make gay jokes with my friends about us doing sexual things but was never aroused to it. Now I just feel paranoid. Now, during oral sex I feel like I have to think of a woman to orgasm, and Ive been doing that. I still get aroused with my boyfriend, but when he goes to do oral sex I get nervous. I never thought of anything in the past to orgasm with him I was satisfied. I just want to go back to my normal life. I love my boyfriend and want to be with him, but these thoughts keep taking over. Its like Im anxious and paranoid about this and then I calm down and can see clearly but then I go back to anxiety. Can someone please give me their input?