I guess that with all relationships it's best to go slow at first ... that's easier said than done sometimes. But all is not lost yet. Just continue to be "you" & see what happens. Don't be so hard on yourself. Relationships can be tricky no matter what you do. I hope this works out well for you.

Hi alijoezack

I like what Janvier said. You need to take your time and not be so hard on yourself. Perhaps she is afraid to make a commitment. Go slow. Don't beat yourself up over this.

I am a firm believer in that 'if it's meant to be, it will be.' Please believe in yourself. Sometimes you just have to just let go and let the Universe/Spirit/God/Goddess handle it.

Give yourself a self-hug and tell yourself that you will get through this; that you are ok; and that things will work out for the best for all involved, especially YOU.

Do you have someone you can confide in and talk to so that you can get these things off your chest and not bottle it up?
When you bottle it up, you gradually build up enough anger inside that there is an overflow leading you to act in aggression to things and people around you. Yes it sounds simple, but trust me it helps when you're not looking to be corrected but for someone to just hear you out and let you speak.
Are things that have happened in your past that you've not faced caused you to bottle a lot of anger inside that you'd normally let out, or is there something in your current situation that could be making you frustrated i.e. financial problems, family problems etc.

Sometimes meditating on something that you find peaceful.. Taking in 4 deep breathes has been clinically proven to help calm people down so maybe try doing that when something upsets you.
Oftentimes, it's the simple little things that upset as you say, eventually it'll become frustrating to always calm yourself down too many times a day because we all know in one day lots of little annoying things will happen. Getting frustrated calming yourself down all the time that even trying to calm yourself will get you riled up.

Sometimes the best method is to try identify things or events that could have contributed to you bottling up this anger. When you find these sort of things out, its best that you talk about it with someone, and make sure they understand that if you're not looking to be corrected or given instructions, but let them know that you just want to unload and let things off your chest. Find people who are good active listeners.

So do you think you may have blown it? did she say she didn't want to see you again or she just couldn't see you on that day?

Trying to keep our emotions in balance is not easy when it comes to dating and relationships but it is probably the healthiest thing to do but believe me I use to get caught up and got upset quickly back in the day when I was dating. I had no confidence, I think that some of the way we act is to do with lack of confidence and trust in ourselves and believing in ourselves. And being ok with who we are. and when someone good comes along and we have such a great date with them, we put a lot of focus and energy into speculating and projecting and hoping all kinds of things and perhaps we read so much more into things than we ought.

Perhaps what I am saying is we may have high expectations of others and want more than they are possibly able to give at that time, and sometimes we get terribly let down and hurt when our expectations are not met, I have to admit over the years my expectations of others have become less and less. it may be a cynical approach, but it lowers my chances of getting hurt.

I have a great little book that offers amazing wisdom and advice that I have been trying to put into practice, it is a philosophy in how to approach life and self and others. It is called the Four Agreements, two of the four agreements is "do not take things personally" and "do not make assumptions"

If you look at your recent situation with this person. I would suspect that both of those things maybe at the root of why you are upset. You are probably taking it personally and you are making assumptions. when looking back at the many times I have been hurt or upset it is very often because of these two things.

i honestly don't know what this person is or is not thinking about you, what you maybe speculating and assuming you could be way off the mark and she is not thinking any of that.

Try not to beat yourself up over this. None of this is easy. I know what it is like dispite I have been out of the game for a few years now, I still remember how it is.

but it will be ok. give yourself a hug and be kind to you.

It's been SO LONG since I was dating but I still remember the difficulties. Even now with fiendships it can be tricky. Sometimes I feel socially inept & worry about what I said or didn't say. I'm always reminding myself that I don't have to be perfect in order to be wonderful. (Ha!)

Janvier, true about friendships too, that is why those two things about not taking things personally and not making assumptions can apply to friendships too.
It is all tough. I am not great with the friendship thing either, and I do the self pyscho anaylizing way too much.

I like that..'I don't have to be perfect in order to be wonderful'
nice phrase to say to oneself.

thank u all for advice, she contacted me first today and laughed at me and apparently knew i was little upset cause made comment i wasnt chasing her. i explained myself a little bit to her via text cause god forbid people actually talk. im trying to relax and take it slow. but someone was correct in saying when i have alot of stressors which are huge right now little things set me off. i just try get lost in the good to forget the bad but yes have someone to talk to every couple of weeks but financially not much longer so this is where i vent and thanks for helping me

Well I am glad she contacted you. I'm hoping this & other things going on in your life work out well. A little less stress & some more joy would be nice.