Highly Sensitive People HSP Community Group

The highly sensitive person (or HSP) is someone who cares deeply about everything ... feels emotions with great intensity ... is highly conscientious ... has a rich and complex inner life ... is very intuitive ... is often creative in a variety of ways... is easily overwhelmed and/or overstimulated. A HSP needs lots of quiet time,space, and freedom. If this sounds...

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My HSP Girlfriend and Red Flags

Mando62
Mando62

All, I am deeply in love with a wonderful HSP woman. I don't think of her being HSP as a negative, quite the contrary. We have had some big problems with our communication via phone or text. In person our communication is excellent. But via phone or text she continually misconstrues or misinterprets what I am saying. She sees massive negative consequences for the tiniest things I say. I have never once intentionally insulted her, been mean to her, even sarcastic. But she sees negative emotions on my part and draws big conclusions about me from each one. I would safely say she turns molehills into mountains. She is also focused a great deal on finding my 'red flags'. My flaws. 


So my question for HSP's is ....is this behavior an HSP thing? She is a highly intelligent, wonderful, warm human being. So these misunderstandings are taking a terrible toll on our relationship. Your thoughts are appreciated.  



A

Community Leaderbobinmaine
bobinmaine
I think the worse thing you can do is to try to "fix" her. It's probably not going to happen so you will probably have to accept her the way she is or end the relationship and find someone else. So if you want to walk on egg shells for much of your life, that's up to you but all I can say is, follow your heart, and good luck.

I wish I had something more positive to say to you.

God Bless
Mando1
Mando1
No I am not trying to fix her. I am aware that this is a losing proposition. More interested in tools, methods people have for improving HSP/ Non HSP relationship communication
persephone1985
persephone1985
How long have you been together? I feel like it is a matter of trust, which is built over time. I feel like in time she might become more trusting of you as she gets to know you better. Especially if she has had bad experiences in the past. I suppose someone who is highly sensitive will internalise those experiences much more easily. I can relate to her approach, and have behaved similarly in relationships in the past - I know I am pushing them away and all of them have split within a month or two! But I always feel like given a bit more time would allow me to get used to that person, what the meaning behind what they are saying is, trust that they are not going to hurt me. But many people don't give me a chance - I get it, it must be exhausting.
I hope that helps give some insight. I can only tell you my own experience, I can't speak for her, but I would say give it more time.
Jyust realised this post was from 2 years ago, so probably not relevant to you now, but hopefully helps someone else.
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