Don't get me wrong, a big part of me is excited about this.

Moving can be exciting and scary at the same time. I've moved several times over the years. Big moves to different States. I also left my birth country to be with my husband. It was a big sacrifice leaving much behind.

Have you discussed all your thoughts and concerns with your fiancé?
It sounds like you will be making a big sacrifice leaving your roots behind. Family, friends, job.
Hopefully he will be able to easy your worries.
You ought be able to talk about all these things with him.
Are you sure this is what you want to do?
I know there are pros and cons to big moves some times.

For me it was difficult leaving my home country and everything I knew but then it was exciting to go somewhere new and be with the person I loved.
Guilt? Yes at times especially now my parents are elderly but they've never said anything to make me feel guilty. They understood and wanted me to be ok.

It's understandable you are concerned about your parents. I am sure they would want you to live your life though and build for your future. Hopefully they have many years left and you'll be able to visit them and keep communication via Skype, phone. Etc.
I know it's not quite the same but what is the alternative?
You not move? You not go and stay where you are.
I take it that there's a really good reason for why you guys are moving to CA and fiancé seems to have a goal and a plan and you are ok with going along with it but you know you are going to really miss people. That is the hardest part.
I can't help you with that. I cried a lot and you probably will too.
It's a tough thing when you love someone and you want to be with them but you leave others behind who you also love.
It's like being torn between two worlds. That's how it has felt for me at times. Not so much now but in the early days.

In regards to pregnancy. That's up to you. And maybe something to discuss with fiancé.
But you know yourself better than anyone and If you think it will be too much then maybe put that decision on hold and wait until you are more settled. You don't need to be anxious and stressed while pregnant. That wouldn't Be good for your or baby's health.

The separate beds. Not weird to me. I have suggested it to my husband. I think we will do it eventually. I know both he and I would get better sleep. We have a California King size bed. That's a big bed and I STILL feel that a separate bed would be better. :)
Maybe you can find a trailer with two sleeping areas. If not, then consider that sharing a bed is not forever. And you will get through it. you may find it's not that bad and you might get use to it.

I wish you all the best for your move and I hope you can find peace within and not feel so conflicted.

Change is good.... its best to weigh the pros and the cons-as you have done some above. Work on what your fiance can compromise on. He knows you are sensitive and that you need your sleep etc..(this is very healthy to take care of yourself by sleeping in different rooms by the way, actually this is very common now- versus the old fashioned expectations.)
Your health and well being are more important.-this is the argument you need to discuss with him about sleeping in the trailer- does the trailer have a separate sleeping arrangement instead of one room? Most trailers have at least two areas if not more. Kitchen table folds into a bed, or couch folds into a bed, plus bedroom area? Perhaps the bedroom area can be yours since it may have a door or slider you can close off.

You are close with your family that is great, now you just have to work out how many times a year you can visit, can you talk to them on the computer, phone, welcome family or friends to come to California to visit and stay in a guest room in your new home? These are important tools to think about when moving from friends and family. You can stay just as close but it takes a little more effort- is your soon to be, willing to handle family or friends to stay at your new home? Will you be able to visit your parents, brother, or friends for say a week or two with or without your fiance? When you have a baby will the arrangement be similar? Can you take the baby to visit family or fly your parents out to stay with you for a visit? These are the types of discussions that are important- and once you understand the expectations it will ease your mind.
Will you be getting married before you do this huge change? If it were me, I would feel more secure in making such a huge commitment to change my whole world to move- even if the plans have been set for years to build a house in C.A. Plus you can have a ceremony in your home town with family and friends present....just a thought!
As far as your job goes it'll be nice to get in at least 6 months to receive a good referral, you can't worry about changing jobs or things that are out of your control- You do what you need to do to start your new life- people change positions all the time , you won't be hurting anyone this is just life.
It is hard to be HSP and thinking and worrying so much, as long as you are able to express concerns and your fiance is willing to work with you, then I think you will have abetter transition. Hugs....

Yep, this here presents a lot of tension. There is a certain amount of resistance and a certain amount of give and there for PULL or TENSION. Most of the time ... and I notice this for myself is when the mind has layers of concepts happening ... Thought and idea about what is to come or pass or change. If there is more then TWO items or layers there is over whelm. Even if all the changes are say GOOD OR WELCOMED ... too many too fast means blow out ... like my brain can not actually manage all those concepts at once.

So I clear space.

One space would be NOT FOCUS AT ALL ON HAVING A CHILD nor MARRIAGE. Travel move check it out ... see how you and your present partner get along w/ the first change and put the other on hold.

Thanks to all so far for your replies! I am finding them helpful.

Zhee, I agree with you that it would be best not to try to juggle three things at once. But the thing is that we probably won't have the house fully constructed until about one year from now. I think that ideally, it would be best to try to get pregnant at that point, but I am 36 years old and my mom started peri-menopause at 40. I don't feel like I have much time left to try. I hear it takes an average of one year at my age when a couple is trying.

Part of me thinks it would be better to have the baby in my home town because then my parents could see it, etc.

But I do agree that I need to figure out a way to take one of these things off of my plate.

The move in itself seems monumental and sort of overwhelming.

Still not sure what to do...but I am hoping to figure it out eventually.

I am also jumping through a lot of hoops in order to get licensed in California as a Social Worker. I am taking a series of online classes, followed by in-person classes in CA, and then taking the licensing exam all over again. I just got my license in my home state.
I guess its not that bad, though. I kind of like learning and academics...

Naturegirl,

I actually made a compromise with my fiance to move to CA instead of Spain, where he wanted to move to last year. I went to Spain last year and decided I could not live there after spending so much time and money on my degree and considering how bad the job market and economy is over there right now. I felt that my chances of finding work would be nearly nonexistent. I promised my fiance that I would move to California instead. He hates where we are currently living. I think he might be very senstive as well--he cannot live in a city and the weather here depresses him.
I know I will proably grieve over no longer seeing my family and friends and this is normal, but I don't look forward to it.
I have made a decision to try to break apart these three tasks into really small parts for certain periods of time. For example, I will focus on getting settled into my new job for the next three months and not focus much on the other two things. Once I am used to my new job and feeling less anxious about it, I will begin to look for a new job in CA. I will also focus more on getting pregnant. I will try t realize that the process of movign there will be gradual, anyways. We will not start building a house until the Fall.

Not sure that I'm really qualified to be answering a question like this, but although change is scary, I think the side of you that's excited is feeling that way for a reason. It's kind of what pulls you up when you fall down and says, "Come on, let's go explore all these wonderful opportunities!" I know there must be a lot to worry about and are concerned that it might not work out for the best, but I feel that in this case it will be really great for you. That being said, only go as quickly as you are comfortable with. Focus on whatever it is that needs to be done first and then continue slowly but surely down your list. I find that that usually helps me whenever I'm having a hard time figuring what I want the most and what is most important to me at the moment. Best wishes!

Everyone has given really good responses. I would say, find somewhere in CA that you can escape to when the trailer gets too much. And set clear goals for the housebuilding so the trailer situation does not become long-term. Or is there some other solution, renting a place for example? Trailer living sounds claustrophobic to me.

Hi
Moving is very stressful, especially if you are moving to another state. In the place you are living at now, you have a lot of support from friends and family and you have a job that you love. It sounds like you are happy to make changes in your life after you move but you there is a part of you that is scared. If your family especially your parents are supportive to your decision with this change, it'll make you feel better. Maybe you can keep in touch with your parents, family. Maybe you can find a job that is equal or better there in California.

I understand how you feel because I used to live in California during the 1990s. In 2000, me and my family moved away from California. I was happy and scared at the same time. I was happy because I was moving to another state where it has the four seasons, but I was scared and nervous because I was moving somewhere I never been before, I thought about would I be happy there and would I meet friends. After we moved here from California, I was happy with the weather, and I'm happy with the living arrangements here than when we lived in California. In California, we had transportation, we knew people but did not have a lot of friends (like now). We are private people. Maybe you will meet friends faster than we did, it seem like you have a personality where you can meet people real fast.

I agree with roxas13 change is scary!

Good Luck to You!

If I could, I would be moving during a very calm time when I have less other changes going on. But then, at the same time, it sees like maybe the other changes are building me up to be strong enough to manage the change of all changes.