Highly Sensitive People HSP Community Group
The highly sensitive person (or HSP) is someone who cares deeply about everything ... feels emotions with great intensity ... is highly conscientious ... has a rich and complex inner life ... is very intuitive ... is often creative in a variety of ways... is easily overwhelmed and/or overstimulated. A HSP needs lots of quiet time,space, and freedom. If this sounds...
I live in my head so much of the time that I actually think more than I experience life. I'm always thinking and analyzing and worrying about my children and the decisions that they make and how it will affect their future.
And how my parents react to me....If I express myself to my dad and he doesn't agree, it is his style to overpower and dismiss my feelings as rubbish. For example, my mother had a stroke and was discharged from the hospital and is having some dizziness and short of breath and I told them that I thought it would be wise for her to see a cardiologist. My dad's response in a loud disgusted voice was "stop starting trouble. That's rediculous. She was checked out by a everyone in the hospital and she's fine." When I remind my dad that on the discharge form from the hospital it says to see a cardiologist within 2 weeks, he responds loudly, "they did all the tests and she's fine. Stop starting trouble." I said to my mother "I don't ask you for anything...please do it for me and see a cardiologist." And she said " I've been wanting to tell you something...It bothers me so much that your daughter keeps a messy room. Do it for me and tell her to clean it up. Don't you have any control over your child?" I feel so exasperated (and worried that my mom is not getting the care she needs) and there is nothing more I can do about it. WHY DO THEY TRY TO MAKE ME FEEL BAD WHEN I'M OFFERING A LOVING OPINION? Where does the anger come from? It hurts me so much!
Even when nothing in particular is going on I have a tough time. I wish I could learn how to just experience life for NOW. Even when I'm doing something, I see something, or hear something...and it reminds me of something else going on in my life....and I'm totally absorbed in thinking of it.
I think all the time and would love to begin to just feel what is going on RIGHT NOW....and I wish I could stop being so effected by the anger of my dad.
Any thoughts? Thanks!
And how my parents react to me....If I express myself to my dad and he doesn't agree, it is his style to overpower and dismiss my feelings as rubbish. For example, my mother had a stroke and was discharged from the hospital and is having some dizziness and short of breath and I told them that I thought it would be wise for her to see a cardiologist. My dad's response in a loud disgusted voice was "stop starting trouble. That's rediculous. She was checked out by a everyone in the hospital and she's fine." When I remind my dad that on the discharge form from the hospital it says to see a cardiologist within 2 weeks, he responds loudly, "they did all the tests and she's fine. Stop starting trouble." I said to my mother "I don't ask you for anything...please do it for me and see a cardiologist." And she said " I've been wanting to tell you something...It bothers me so much that your daughter keeps a messy room. Do it for me and tell her to clean it up. Don't you have any control over your child?" I feel so exasperated (and worried that my mom is not getting the care she needs) and there is nothing more I can do about it. WHY DO THEY TRY TO MAKE ME FEEL BAD WHEN I'M OFFERING A LOVING OPINION? Where does the anger come from? It hurts me so much!
Even when nothing in particular is going on I have a tough time. I wish I could learn how to just experience life for NOW. Even when I'm doing something, I see something, or hear something...and it reminds me of something else going on in my life....and I'm totally absorbed in thinking of it.
I think all the time and would love to begin to just feel what is going on RIGHT NOW....and I wish I could stop being so effected by the anger of my dad.
Any thoughts? Thanks!
As for your mom when it comes to your daughter. It will all come in time. If you keep a clean house yourself. I am sure she will when she is older too. Tell your mom she maybe messy now but but she has a whole lot of wonderful qualities that out ride her messiness. List them if you have to.
I hope I wasn`t to harsh for you.
Meha
As for your parents, they are who they are and nothing you do or say will change that. We all have flaws and they have theirs. Even though we would love to have them respond in kind and adhere to our wishes, it is clear that won't happen. However, since your mom has some serious health issues which can't be ignored, maybe she will allow you to accompany her to her primary care physician and have him or her remind her that she needs to see a cardiologist if that's what it takes for her to listen.
True enough, we are highly sensitive and feel things others don't, but when you see this as a gift, then you will begin to appreciate who you are more and the opinions of others will begin to matter less. I hope this helps.
A book that has helped me a lot is "The Power of NOW" by Eckhart Tolle.
There is also a shorter version of that same book. The shorter version is very good...it is just more to the point & quicker to read...it's called "Practicing the Power of NOW"
http://www.controllingparents.com
Without reading the books...but please do...you can tell yourself to " STOP !! " when you find yourself filled with racing and overpowering thinking.
I tell myself...be here now !
Feel the air circling around you.
Listen to the birds chirping.
Look at the coffee cup in your hand.
Feel the texture of the cup, drink in the coffee with all your senses.
Look at the cup as you wash it...feel it..look at the soap on your hands and the water rinsing it all clean.
That helps me to be in the moment that I am now experiencing rather than missing my present because my mind lives mostly in the past or worries about the future.
I keep gently bringing myself back to where I am now.
Takes a heck of a lot of practice.
But, when it works, it feels awesome and so very right.
I have heard athletes talk about getting into the zone. I always assumed it meant it is a point that they reach when they get into the doing part of what they are doing and become encased with that motion only. They are not thinking about doing something. They are not starting to do something. They are not trying to focus on doing something. They are not worrying if they can do something. They are not thinking about what will happen if they do something or if they don't do something.
They are just in " the doing. "
They are in the moment.
They are present...completely present.
Star Wars movies years ago had that saying about ..." May the Force be with You. "
I adore that saying.
To me that says it all.
" You " are present.
" You " are doing something just like the athlete is consumed with the doing of it all.
But, you are so present and so very right in your personal position in the universe that you slip right into the forward motion of the forces that be.
I think it is like dancing with a very talented dancer.
At some point, the two of you blend.
You almost become one.
The movement of two becomes one smooth, incredibly easy and free flowing motion.
Check out those books.
But you can also use the " Be Here Now " visual.
I love the Star Wars movies...very spiritual.
"May the Force be with you" (perfect)
Everyone & everything is made up of energy...we are all part of this force field. There's a lot going on here.