All my life I have been extremely in touch with other peoples feelings and actually somehow took there problems and sorrow into my own heart. I have been through many bad relationships  and a failed marriage to a woman who was emotionally and verbally abusive. I remarried to my childhood best friend from age 6 to14. I thought this one workout, until I caught her having sex over video on her phone a day after our 2nd anniversary. Then caught her again last week doing practically the same thing. I love this woman with all my heart. I gave her everything and gave up almost everything for her.  I have had a forsaken life of losing a child, burning my brother, grandfather, and both parents in a 15 month time frame. I am at the point of having nothing and there for nothing to lose. 

I still love my wife after cheating on me twice. I still want to spend the rest of my life with her. I have absolutely no trust at this time in her. I feel guilty about putting demands on her. I feel bad about checking up on her. I honestly don't understand fearing losing her so much. I am not the cheater and I did not wrong and yet I feel remorse and a desire to try to salvage what is left.