Highly Sensitive People HSP Community Group
The highly sensitive person (or HSP) is someone who cares deeply about everything ... feels emotions with great intensity ... is highly conscientious ... has a rich and complex inner life ... is very intuitive ... is often creative in a variety of ways... is easily overwhelmed and/or overstimulated. A HSP needs lots of quiet time,space, and freedom. If this sounds...
I just went to California for two weeks. My fiance and I are planning on moving there and we spent some time preparing our new home. During our trip, we stayed in different motels and then a trailer, which had no running water or electricity. I had trouble sleeping the whole time. My fiance, on the other hand, slept like a baby. In the first part of the trip, my father, diagnosed as Bipolar, complained about my fiance whenever he had the chance alone. I feel like this placed a lot of stress on me. After five days, my dad left, but I still felt anxious. There was a myriad of emotions that came up for me. On several occassions I cried my eyes out. I was thinking about all of my friends and family that I will be leaving behind when I move.
During the trip, I relied on Melatonin, Xanax, and Ambien to help me sleep. I hate the fact that I did this. I don't like relying on these meds and it scares me that I take them. On several occassions, I was very forgetful and distracted. I forgot to pay the contractor the full amount due and he called us, angrily while we were about to board the plane at the airport to go home. I also left the motel key in the door overnight and walked away from my laptop in the motel lobby. I don't know if this distraction comes as a side effect from the meds or if it come from my anxiety?
Needless to say, my fiance blamed in on the "drugs" and told me I need to stop taking them.
Any one else feel really anxious when they change the setting in their life? I feel like I can only handle a certain amount of stress and them my anxiety really flares up and piles up
During the trip, I relied on Melatonin, Xanax, and Ambien to help me sleep. I hate the fact that I did this. I don't like relying on these meds and it scares me that I take them. On several occassions, I was very forgetful and distracted. I forgot to pay the contractor the full amount due and he called us, angrily while we were about to board the plane at the airport to go home. I also left the motel key in the door overnight and walked away from my laptop in the motel lobby. I don't know if this distraction comes as a side effect from the meds or if it come from my anxiety?
Needless to say, my fiance blamed in on the "drugs" and told me I need to stop taking them.
Any one else feel really anxious when they change the setting in their life? I feel like I can only handle a certain amount of stress and them my anxiety really flares up and piles up
Upon moving in with my fiancé last year, I went from living in a relatively quiet, rural environment with not much congestion, to a heavily populated suburban environment. This was very stressful for me, and to be honest, I am still not adjusted to it. In regards to vacations, I have a very hard time settling in somewhere new, and I feel like by the time I do, it's already time to go back home. I enjoy vacations, otherwise, but this is something I a have spent years working on. I don't "let go" easily, if that makes sense.
Oh, and my MIL drains me. She is an incessant complainer and has taken more recently to being subtly rude toward me. She and FIL are due to arrive this weekend to spend a few days with us (they live a few hours away). Just thinking about their arrival produced a disgusting cold sore on my lip, as happens every single time we have a scheduled visit. That is how my stress presents in a physical form. I have a mental plan for how I will deal with her and for how I will make my "escape" when it gets to be too much for me. In the past, I had been overmedicated, but no longer wish to rely upon medications to regulate my response to stressors. I feel as though medications have screwed with my body's physiology, and I wish to be healthier. Like you, I felt as though the drugs caused me to be too "foggy" and also placed a block on my creativity. I felt as though I forgot what the real me was like. So...I'm well on my way to being off of the meds, but taking that final leap is very difficult; being a HSP, I go through intense withdrawal symptoms.
Meditation (on a regular basis) has been the only thing to significantly reduce the amount of stress I feel. When I was doing it regularly, there was vast improvement in my physical and emotional health. I have realized that while it's difficult to make time to do so, I need to get back to that mind-set.
I bought a new (used) mobile home about 12 miles from where I live. I did this in order to downsize and simply my life due to the pain/fatigue from fibro. I needed to do some remodeling (paint, flooring, an enclosed patio area for my cats) and hired someone to do this for me. Having to go out and pick paint colors, finding the right flooring, etc. started to make me feel anxious which I finally attributed to overstimulation. Then there are considerations in what to take, what to get rid of, and how everything is going to fit. My girlfriend next door is a Godsend in helping me. Then I realized I have to rehome several of my kittys who are my babies. There are times I feel like a total nervous wreck. Seeing improvements in my new home helps to boost my mood. I thought I would enjoy this process yet I am feeling very worn down by it. Going through my stuff is tortuous because of pain and fatigue. Moves didn't use to bother me that much yet now it is a major ordeal.
I also have to take a tranquilizer to get me to sleep sometimes; especially when I am stressed or overwhelmed by life. It can make a person foggy. Yet when I was much younger, I went through brain fog periods during stressful times and that was before I ever took a clonazepam or xanax. I hope more HSP's on this site chime in on their experience here. I suspect that your circadian rhythm was thrown off by the trip with jet lag too. Dealing with leaving people behind that you care about is never an easy thing for an HSP. If you haven't read "The Highly Sensitive Person" you need to. When my move is over I intend to reread it again as Elaine Aron makes some excellent pointers for us.
I agree with Vulcanx that meditation reduces stressed and IMHO should be taken up by every HSP. Elaine Aron meditates two hours a day according to an article at her website. I do centering pray which is a form of meditation though I used to do Buddhist forms of meditation before this. Research shows how helpful it is and I NEED to make it part of my regular schedule again like Vulcanx.
Something else I have been experimenting with is EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique). When I get over stressed out or emotional, I have been gaining a fair amount of relief by doing that modality. Good luck with your move and make sure you can take things at a pace that takes your HSP characteristics into consideration. I wanted to be moved in by this time and won't be giving my month's notice at my apartment for a few days. It may cost me more yet by reducing my stress levels it is more than worth it to me. I am lucky to be able to afford to do so. Be gentle and kind to yourself too. Blessings and hugs for you:)
P.S. Have your fiance read the Highly Sensitive Person so he understands you more too.
med side affects
Anyways, one thing I will still say is thank you both for your kind and thoughtful replies.
The times I went with my husband to visit the in-laws abroad were extremely stressful. Everything was different - daily routine, food, frequency of visitors... I often found myself sleeping as soon as my head hit the pillow, but the amount was not enough to cover the exhaustion from what we did every day.
Have to admit, I often longed to be back where it was familiar! I think it might have been better if my FIL had not been the controlling type. So much of what had to go on in the house every day was connected to him and his unofficial rules... grrrr!
Hugs xxx
I have trouble adjusting in new places because of anxiety and plain old nervousness. If I'm not at home with all my comforts then adjustments must be made. Wherever I go I have to bring earplugs, sleep mask , herbal sleep aids, socks, herbal tinctures for anxiety and calming aides etc...I remember my sleep schedule at home and follow it. I agree that meditation, reading, or anything that calms the mind and body prior to sleep is best to induce relaxation and sleep. During the day try to get some exercise and be active so you can release some energy during the day will help bring more calm to your afternoon /evening sleepiness.
Hugs....
I can also relate with you when it comes to moving. It's not that I don't want change in my life but it bothers me of the fact moving back to California. The three of us had lived here in Wis for 14 years now. We are living it is quiet and peaceful plus we have a better life than we did when we lived in California back in the 1990s. The thought is really scary because that means getting used to the big city again, getting used to the old ways of living, dealing with the same problems as before, having no support and the list goes on and on. With the thought of moving it means finding a place to live, getting rid of old things you collected over the years (down sizing), get rid of pets we have a little dog, two cats, and two birds.
After we moved here to wis in 2000, we were tired. We rode on the greyhound bus for 3 days, most of the people on the bus including two of the bus drivers had severe colds. People were rude when they got on the bus, they'd hit you in the head with their big bags, had attitudes as big as a mountain, and there was attitudes coming from us as well. The sad thing was we really did not want to move but because of stress in California, we moved from there. I also remember in 1990 when we moved from Ohio to California. It was on a Saturday, the way we felt, it was like going to a funeral. Plus we had to deal with a lot of stress during that time too.
This is why I can relate with you!
wep
I like to use yoga, focused breathing, and meditation--these are some easy ways to start receiving the benefits of mindfulness--there are more advanced techniques to use to further benefits of learning to tap into this healing technique. Thanks for bringing the topic up.
I think part of it is also just accepting that I am this way and that changes (even as simple as vacation) can shake me up. At times, I hate myself for being so sensitive.
I think its important to be in the moment with the discomfort I feel and accept that it will eventually pass. This is what I tried to do, but two weeks is a long stretch to be uncomfortable. It sort of wore me down. I'm angry that I get this way and I am still trying to figure out how to just accept it and work around it.