Highly Sensitive People HSP Community Group

The highly sensitive person (or HSP) is someone who cares deeply about everything ... feels emotions with great intensity ... is highly conscientious ... has a rich and complex inner life ... is very intuitive ... is often creative in a variety of ways... is easily overwhelmed and/or overstimulated. A HSP needs lots of quiet time,space, and freedom. If this sounds...

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Social Anxiety

DarknessEmbraced
DarknessEmbraced
I've always been shy but my social anxiety didn't really manifest until middle school where I was teased and bullied, especially during grade 8. I feel much calmer when I'm with someone else out in public. I still feel a little anxious but have their support. I really miss having my mother around because she really helped me be more open to talking with other people. I felt much less self conscious. There's a little mall downtown that we used to frequent. She knew everyone there and they knew her. It was like being around family! When she died my whole foundation was rocked and I realized that nothing is certain in this world, that someone can be here one day and gone the next. That uncertainty has made me much more socially anxious. I also worry about something happening to those I love or to me. There have been times where I've felt in a panic wanting to get away from people. Is that abnormal? Maybe it's just because of all of the stimulation? When I go out in public I try to create a buffer zone around myself where nothing can get in unless I want it to. I'm not sure if that makes sense. It's all about balance, everything at my own pace. Has anyone else gone through this?
pageo
pageo
It sounds like you do not feel safe and that you have yet to develop your connection to your innate power to exist. Instead of being able to experience what is supportive you are focused on what is not supportive or that there is an impending threat.

I have gone through a phase of what you describe . In fact it was off and on for a few decades. Then I got some really good therapy and dealt with trauma ... something you likely have from the death of a parent. I got the chance not only establish safety but also develop personal power which is innate not something ya earn.
katzenmother
katzenmother
I too have gone through periods of my life where I've been comfortable with people and then uncomfortable. I never really thought about it before, but I can relate to feeling panicky and wanting to get away from people at times. I attribute it to over stimulation or being overwhelmed by a comment somebody made that leads me to want to regroup. I think this too is normal for a HSP. Like Pageo, I too have gone through trauma. I have PTSD from the military and am still in therapy. One thing that might help you is to study Buddhist thought and learn mindfulness. I am in the middle of a book called "Self Compassion" by Kristen Neff that offers methods to teach us self compassion. Check it out at Amazon.com as it is very highly reviewed by many, their books on mindfulness too which help a person deal with a multitude of emotions that we experience. Hope this may help. Take care.
deleted_user
deleted_user
Am sorry about your mother.
That you felt less self conscious when you were with your mother is very much like I have felt much less the same when my daughter was around, her being more sociable was more like a buffer ,rather than helping me to talk more.. Now my daughter lives elsewhere, and my husband is quiet, and I'm only around people at work, which can be overwhelming. I have a buffer zone at work besides elsewhere.
deleted_user
deleted_user
Have you looked into some sort of counselling for this? I mean, it is fine to be isolated if that is what you want. But it seems it may be making you uneasy. So it might help to get some help, either to become more social and try to fit in in your own way, or to become happier with who you are and not feel so pressured to change.
J0KEYJ
J0KEYJ
this is how I use to be..death to me has happened..had close family members I have a family tree and it has three.I had a close friend she was like a sister died very young of cancer..I then got a soul friend omg he was the most amazing person in the world..we was seperated...I started to think I didnt want to get close to people because they will only be taken from me..I ended up in a job where people died..I could go in and be told they had died that night...this is how I think now..if I was to keep thinking of not geting attached to people..if my heart was closed and didnt feel for people in my life my life would be empty..my life was blessed to have known them..they gave me something and how do I know because I miss them..why do I miss them because of the amazing things they left of themselves..when death happens again I allow myself to mourn to cry because I do miss them but I also tell myelf they are not truly gone they are in my heart forever..
deleted_user
deleted_user
I have severe social anxiety. I was shy before high school then in high school I tried to numb a lot of my anxieties and fears by drinking and smoking and such. It seemed to go away when I stopped partying but I had a child shortly after high school, then my fears went all out of wack again. Now I take Effexor XR for social anxiety and generalized anxiety disorder and Major Depressive Disorder and probably a thousand other things. I also go to therapy weekly.

The Effexor has helped my anxiety a ton, I used to get overwhelmed going to the grocery store with my child.

I've totally been there and all I can say is just take it steps at a time. Try to push yourself past your boundaries but never so much that it becomes panic inducing. Little steps.

Hopefully this helps.