Help in Deciding to Leave or Stay Community Group
This group aims to gently help people decide about leaving or staying in their abusive relationship. This support covers whatever is needed to help the person be ready and able to go or stay; to actually make that decision and be confident it is the right one. The decision is a personal one and nobody can tell anyone what to do. We can only be with another person and help...
I wish I could get to the point where what comes out of my husbands thoughtless mouth would not hurt me anymore!! There are times when he is nice and I guess I let my gard down some, but it never lasts and he ends up being a jurk again. This breaks my heart. Why do I even care about what he does? He is nice to be around at times, I wish he would be that way most of the time. His actions tell me he does not care about me, but then he will say "I love you", and I am thinking it is all a bunch of words. I feel like I am going crazy. I feel like I am on a crazy rollercoster ride, and I want off.
This is a way of abusing you without bieng caught out. As we cannot say you said this or you said that, they get away with telling us we are imagioning it.
It is sly and does make uas think we are crazy.
You are not crazy though.
Do you think he will ever really be nice to you all the time, or even most of the time???
Its not good enough is it?
take care hun.xxx
The difference is that my husband doesn't say he loves me. He will not even discuss whether he intends to get out of the marriage. He has always threatened this, but he actually said "I want out" 5 years ago and other associated things. But then, later, he said he changed his mind. But things have happened to make me wonder so I have asked. And he says "I don't want to discuss it" and that is it whatever I might say. I feel really stressed not knowing.
My husband can be pleasant to be around at times too. I think it follows the classic "cycle of violence" (you could Google this if you haven't come across this yet). It is a useful concept.
My husband is never a true friend though. It is like living with a nasty, grasping creature of a different kind. But sometimes it brings me nice things. Real person to person connection is absent. I don't think he sees the real me actually. I am just some conglomeration of mindless stereotypes he has about women. My primary nature to him is sexual and that is how he relates to me primarily. Maybe that makes him a duckhead.
So why does he affect me? I don't know really; no explanations have really clicked with me regarding that.
Thanks
MDP
And I love the people in this group too. We are a nice little group and I like to think we are safe here in our little hideyhole.