Hearts of Hope Community Group

For families of Juvenile Sex Offenders, specifically sibling on sibling sex abuse. This is a safe place to be able to anonymously share your experience, strength and hope or simply to express the feelings that accompany this devastating reality so many of us carry on our own.

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Traumas & Injuries
/ Hearts of Hope Support Group

mom of both offender and victim

parentto3
parentto3

I'm the mom of both the victim and offender. My eldest 16yr. old offended against my 5yr old. The shame, fear, and concern for both is over whelming!! Not wanting to discuss the situation due to shame, embarrassment etc. Carrying the burden is just killing me. My eldest was removed from the home immediately, put into shelter, and adjudicated later. Charges also came. Trying to be a forgiving, supportive parent to the SO while creating a "new normal" for the rest of the family is a very difficult line to walk everyday. I also have another "middle" child that has been affected by her brother's offenses. She loves both brother's, obviously. She also has learned information that a child her age should not have had to learn yet either. I just want to connect with other families that share in this horror. 

SheepHappy
SheepHappy
I feel your pain. We are in the same situation with our son (15) The past 2 months have been pure hell. Trying to let our son know we still love him and trying to get the help he needs, all the while supporting our daughter, middle child and our 4 year old...the new 'norm' sucks!
parentto3
parentto3
At times I almost feel guilty though for "getting used to" the "new normal"... with oldest son being gone. Its been a year and 5 months!! And now he's becoming even more difficult to talk to. I'm pretty sure its his own fears spewing out at me. He's getting "discharged" from placement and going into a shelter status closer to home until clarification is completed. I refuse to allow him to go to his grandmother's home( which is where he will live) until the clarification is completed. If you ever want to "chat" hit me up. I have been so lost in carrying all of this alone. Not wanting to discuss it with most people out of shame, embarrassment, fear for other's to know the truth. I don't want people to look at my family with disgust, judgement, or anything else. All while needing to connect with someone who truly understands( unfortunately!!)
AdoptivemomJSO
AdoptivemomJSO
I’m so sorry no recent posts-I feel the same way... You can’t really talk to anyone... I didn’t do anything, yet I feel like I’m carrying the brunt of the pain... We were very watchful and careful as our kids were adopted from foster care. We didn’t let him stay home alone with his younger siblings until the last year or so even thought he’s extremely bright and capable. He’s also overall a good kid who’s overcome a horrific past in his first 5 years of life... I hate to see this one thing forever define him,,.
englishflower
englishflower
I just joined this group and have a smilar situation. I am so sorry for all that have gone through this. My son is the SO and my step daugher is the victim. My son was 16 and daugher was 14 when we found out and this went on for more than two years. We were lucky that my SDs mother chose not to press charges at the time, but she may decide to do so now - two years later. I completely agree with "I hate to see this one thing forever define him." SD is in a residential treatment facility and it is all just one big mess. I absolutely support her and want her to heal. I'm just so alone and confused and there is literally no where to turn.