Healing the Child Within Community Group
This is a safe haven for victims of childhood abuse and their loved ones to share stories, sympathies, and tips for healing. Whether verbal, physical, or sexual in nature, the effects of childhood abuse can be permanently scarring. Together, though, we can find strength and solace in each other.
am i wrong for not being able to forgive myself or my inner child? i want to forgive us both so much but i can't. i think i see her as the girl i am now, like how stong i am now. i don't see her as the lil girl she really is. i want to see her for her not who i am now. i want to see her as that lil scared girl that was taken advantage of. i want to know and believe it wasn't either of our faults. but i can't cuz i know i wanted/liked it and that's really hard to get over. i need help.
Let me reassure that your abuse was NOT in any way your fault. I don't care how much you enjoyed it, it doesn't change the fact that you were a child and were not ready for sex and your abusers should never have initiated sexual contact with you. THEY are the ones to blame, not you.
The human body is designed to experience pleasure from sexual touching, whether it is forced or consensual. It's a biochemical reaction. The fact that you experienced this only reiterates once more that you are normal. You were touched, your body responded with pleasurable hormones and endorphins, and as a result you felt physical enjoyment even though a) you were still a child and not emotionally ready for sex and b) you felt shame and guilt for going along with what your abusers told you to do, making you struggle and suffer even more. But you were only a child and NOT TO BLAME.
Please tell yourself this over and over again until you believe it. It was not your fault. You are not to blame. Once you can believe that, it will be easier to forgive yourself and your inner child.