but I am feeling trapped. I try and be ok with doing alternative methods, but I'm losing faith in the Revici treatment (I'll ge my next blood test in 3 weeks and will know more then) and I don't know what I'll do if the test is bad. I have more energy on the supplements, but it's too expensive if it's not helping against the virus. I can't just take supportive supplements and not get caught in fear. My kids are young; I want to raise them. I love the information and support of this group, but in some ways it's making things worse. Signing on here every day reminds me I have Hep C, whereas before I had a cycle -- I'd put it on the back burner and live my life, then get a blood test and get terrified, try another treatment and feel hopeful, get the bloods and panic, etc. Or I'd read an article in a magazine and get scared. Yesterday we celebrated Beltane and I felt so connected and joyful and safe. I was doing a labyrinth walk and I felt "You'll be ok" but that feeling didn't last. And I don't know if it means, "You;ll be ok just supporting your liver" or "You'll be ok if you do treatment" or "You'll find the right alternative". I read all the people clearing on the other board and I want that. But I can't talk myself into it (yet). Not sure if my strong resistance is my body's wisdom or just fear. And my av ersion to chemical drugs wouldn't serve me if I do decide to do it. I think it really helps to believe in one's methods. The Revici woman is testing my faith by being a terrible communicator (English isn't her first language, but it's more than that). I also don't understand why everyone I know is trying to get more alkaline and I'm trying to make my body more acidic. But my husband had a good point -- if the idea that diseases can't happen in an alkaline environment is true, then I would be totally healthy 'cause I'm so alkaline. So maybe the Revici woman is right -- that they start in an acidic environment and then the body gets stuck in alkaline. I don't know. I don't know whom to trust. Even my own inner wisdom isn't clear to me as my true inner wisdom voice. It could be a fear voice in disguise. Anyway, sorry to vent. I just want this virus to go away. Second best, I want freedom from my fear about it. Which is really fear of illness and death. I've been meditating almost every day, praying, yoga in the morning. Only moments of relief, then back to anxiety.
I would like to find out more information.
When were you diagnosed, how old are you, where are your labs, how do you feel physically. Do you have extra-hepatic symptoms? are you still cycling or are you menopausal?
I can see you are allowing your fears to run you down. You're dashing here and there in hope of a panacea and you're being taken advantage of by professionals. I went through that. I went through treatments that were supposed to heal. I think that professionals take advantage of us in that Hep C and the Hep C virus are two different things. While they might be able to alleviate SYMPTOMS and improve Liver function tests, the only ALTERNATIVE thing that's really going to kill the virus is love, laughter and positive feelings, combined perhaps with some antiviral treatment, but not necessarily. People have cleared without treatment. You've got to stop feeding the virus with feelings of anxiety.
Awhile back a link for hayhouseradio.com was posted here and I started listening while I sit here. I got lots of support for my mental/emotional "state of being" for healing, and I can tell you that I am getting better! I know it sounds hokey, but the body responds to your moods and thoughts. If you are thinking negative thoughts like anxiety and fear, then your body allows the virus to be more destructive, since it figures that's what YOU want, since that is what you are focusing on!!!
The body is an obedient slave and the immune system responds to what is dominant in your thoughts. You've watched The Secret, right? or What the bleep do we Know? Louise Hay did the movie, You Can Heal Your Life - I think that's what it is called, same as her book. Get some good spiritual advice, get a good attitude and trust that the universe will guide you in the direction of your best good.
The thing I've come to realize is that we could all have something eating away at us, ESPECIALLY if we worry a lot. People say, hey, what's eating you? The thing about the liver is, we can't see it, we don't know what the virus is doing per se, but we can spend an awful lot of time imagining what it is doing. So, unless you are ready to do Tx, and if you do Tx, so much more important while you are on Tx, you need to keep a positive attitude! What you think and feel is 80% of how things are going to go.
The word hypochondriac was used originally to refer to people suffering from diseases of the liver; the hypochondrium is the part of the body where the liver is located. from Herbs for Hep C and the Liver, Stephen Buhner.
I would suggest that every morning, when you awaken, express feelings of gratitude. Stretch and smile and FEEL your best possible feelings! Get up, find a loved one, human or anima,l and hug or pet it, and express gratitude for them, then feed them something. Then feed yourself. Then go online or get on the phone, call a friend and express gratitude and love for them. Then express that to yourself, be grateful for the wakeup call the knowing of the virus has given you and decide to express that gratitude today in all you do. Read some affirmations, watch an inspiring video or listen to hayhouseradio. Do some yoga, do the sun salute in the yard with the sun melting away your cares. Look at flowers, grass, trees, listen to the birds chirping. We have morning doves here, they go coo coo coo, and it's funny, my neighbor hates them, or so he said. I decided to love them and allow their song to remind me to love myself and to love life.
Forgive yourself for your past mistakes. Everyone makes mistakes, no need to hang onto them day after day, what a narcissistic thing to do! LOL Besides, you'll never make the worst mistakes, people like Hitler already did that, so stop beating yourself up and love yourself! Love your partner! Love your children! Love your parents! Love your neighbors!
The last 7 years were hard, and I made them that way. I didn't forgive, I harbored anger, resentment, I saw myself as being abused and a victim, and I wanted justice, but there is no justice when there is no crime, truly, when all you are doing is holding on to the past and trying to get a different outcome. My hubby and I were involved in a party where something happened, something that started my illness. He did something without thinking about how it would affect me, and I let him do it, ok, why? Probably because in the back of my mind I was still the abused child trying to piece the past back together so I could make it right, and he got caught up in my fantasy and I in his. I fought and stomped up and down like a little child but I couldn't change the past. I screamed, I yelled, I wanted him to make it better, but he couldn't, because no matter what he did or said, and he apologized over and over, it was never enough.
I finally realized that I had the best person in the whole world and I was destroying our happiness and my health over 5 seconds of our relationship. I finally decided to love him for the 99.99999% of our relationship and forgive that little glitch in time.
And I decided to stop harboring negative thoughts and feelings. When they try to creep in, I just love them away. I replace them with feelings of joy and love and faith in God and the knowing that suffering is caused by the way we feel about that which we undergo, more so than by the actual things that we undergo.
I just shared this with my partner. And I'm crying tears of joy!
I realize I didn't answer your questions. Late teens or 20 when infected. Diagnosed at 27. Now I'm 47, 48 this month. My estrogen levels are dropping, 'cause I now have a 3 week cycle instead of 4. And what I read about menopause speeding up the damage makes me think I need to do something. Biggest symptoms are eye problems (sensitiviy to light, floaters, pain. But this could be from having very light blue eyes, having taken Accutane which left them permanently dry, and having Lasik) and fatigue. Some days I could barely get through the day. I was so tired everything hurt (though I haven't felt this since I started Revici supplements). Still, I work and have two young kids, so I never knew if it's Hep C or Mommy fatigue. Sensitivities to all chemicals. Again, not sure if this is liver. Some digestive issues -- bloating, gas. Much better since I stopped eating wheat and dairy. Some weird muscle pain. Again, not sure if it's Hep C. This has been happening for a year. I wake up with something hurting (like an old wrist injury from chopping ice) and think I must have strained it at the gym but I have no memory of it. If I didn't know I had Hep, I'd think it was aging, or perimenopause, or "sleeping wrong." So I have no idea. My viral load was always in the thousands. Climbed to a mil last Nov. Three weeks ago was 6 mil. Enzympes are always elevated (with a few normal readings 15 years ago) but not much. Fibrosure was .57
Does this tell you anything?
Also, started with Louise Hay's work even b efore I was diagnosed. She started Healing Circles in NY and I ended up co-fascilitating the women's one. Got annoyed with her 'cause she (or people doing her work) seemed to deny physical reality (liek chemicals in the environment, etc. and blame sick people. If anyone should have gotten better based on her philosophy, it would have been my mother, the most loving and forgiving person I knew. But she died exactly when her dr. predicted. I had a n ex-boy-friend who smoked, ate horribly, and lived with AIDS for decades (before the coctail, when people were dying in months.) So none of it makes sense to me...
When you say you are alkaline, how alkaline are you? Ideally, we only want to be neutral and slightly acid or alkaline depending on the time of day. 6.5 to 7.5 is what I remember. I sometimes go outside that, but I go back quite quickly. Acidosis and alkalosis are both detrimental to health. Prescription for Nutritional Healing covers them as one problem with two opposites, both causing dis ease in the body. The heading is Acid/Alkali Imbalance. page 122 of the burgundy and blue covered book.
I would recommend that book. You can get it online for very cheap at Amazon books or Half.com.
Symptoms of acidosis include frequent sighing, insomnia, water retention, recessed eyes, arthritis, migraines, really low BP, stinky pits, dry hard stinky stools, burning butt, constipation then diarrhea, difficulty swallowing, halitosis, burning mouth, sensitivity of the teeth to acid - vinegar and fruits, and bumps on the tongue and/or roof of the mouth. Oh, and possible causes of acidosis are anger, stress, fear and anxiety.
Alkalosis affects the peripheral nerves first, and can cause a high strung nervousness, hyperventilation and even seizures. Sore muscles, creaking joints, bursitis, drowsiness, protruding eyes, hypertension, hypothermia, edema, allergies, night cramps, asthma, indigestion, night coughs, vomiting, menstrual problems, thick blood, hard dry stools, and bone spurs and is generally caused by excessive intake of antiacids, baking soda, excessive vomiting, poor diet, and hyperventilating.
Brigid, you sound so much like me, it is like this: the virus is making you more sensitive and the anxiety is adding to the mess, as is being a mother and working. You have a full plate and it's taking its toll on you, because the virus makes you more susceptible. This started for me back in the 80's, when I had 3 boys. I was always getting tonsilitis and urinary tract infections. I got a job doing inventories with RGIS and it knocked me on my butt, the things they expected of us were inhumane for some who was as vulnerable as I was. We would drive all night almost, get 2 hours sleep and then spend 8 hours on our feet counting inventory. grrr and my boss was not sensitive to my sensitivity, sometimes she would "punish" me if I complained at all so I had to keep it quiet. I once got to count a bottom drawer of greeting cards while an obese woman with serious vaginal yeast infection counted the trays above me, I was gagging and holding my breath, and my boss thought I was faking it. ok, that's my gross out for the day! Maybe forever! LMAO
Recently I heard someone on hayhouseradio say that when someone gets mad when pressured it's generally cuz they are afraid of something, and that if their partner can gently and lovingly ask them Honey, what are you afraid of, or maybe just what's going for you right now, that it will diffuse the anger. Often pressure and stress make us feel unloved and we just need reassurance that our partner still loves us.
I don't think a biopsy is going to tell you the state of your liver, only of a very tiny thin round cylindrical slice of it. I swear they know where to find the worst part of your liver....maybe they look at the back of your hands. You know, the liver spots? Doc went in where I have the biggest liver spot, above the muscle between thumb and palm on my right hand. Then he didn't get enough on the first stab so he went in again, and I swear he did it twice just to mess with me. I should never have signed that paper saying they could eternalize a portion of the biopsy. The muscle spasms afterwards were unbelievable. I couldn't move without my diaphragm going into a painful spasm for about 12 hours or more. He put two holes in my diaphragm, one would have been enough to deal with. And he wasn't very nice, his bedside manner was dark and businesslike. I still had a good attitude through it all, until I got the results back with a phone call right before I was to start work. Ruined my day. There I am trying to give a massage and trying to hold back the tears.
Notting Hill is hilarious! We love romantic comedies.
So if the strips didn't change (they stayed light orange) that means a bit acid?, but I didn't believe it, because the drops were showing alkaline. (I tested both 'cause i was suspicious when the strips were always exactly the same.) I think I threw them out. But things are changing -- I've had 3 out of 4 acid readings (well, ok , one was reddish brown but I counted it). I think this puppy is just one thing too many. I wanted a trained, adult dog. Now the kids won't take her out, and it's too much for me while I'm cooking, getting stuff for them, etc. I havne't been able to get to the gym, and I know that's throwing my mood off. I'm in the school (as class parent) 3 days this week; the other two I work in the City. Hopefully next week will be better.
There's no pattern to my ph in terms of morning and night. I test pee right before eating.
The behavior modification stuff is something that you have to talk about and agree upon before shit happens, so that you have some kind of key for getting out of that negative energy that you both know. We've tried a lot of different keys, like when we would stop what we are doing and just hug until relaxed. Or sometimes I started crying, that generally softened him and gave me release. We got a book we read together, he would drive and I would read, when we went places. It's called The Conscious Heart, 7 soul-choices that inspire creative partnership, by Kathlyn and Gay Hendricks. It's a sequel. We read Conscious Loving first, and Spirit-Centered Relationships. One of the early books is Learning to Love Yourself.
Yes, I've had a few negative experiences, 4 I think. With the high cost of medical treatments I can't afford them! LOL But the last one told me they have found that cirrhosis IS REVERSIBLE. Oh and you might consider bHRT. That really gave me an energy boost! I believe I am reversing my liver damage, and the evidence is feeling better. Digesting food better. recovering better. I would not want that biopsy! LOL Leave my liver alone! But seriously. The strips you bought, you could test them, if you still have them, by dipping them in baking soda water and vinegar water. If that doesn't change them, nothing will.
For my liver, I do coffee enemas every morning and notice a big difference. I do liver flushes once a month on the new moon and feel the relief. I want to do them twice a month, but that might be too often. These 2 procedures are crucial to recovering your liver. Spirulina and chlorella smoothies can help with your energy as well as fresh juices. Eat more fresh veggies and fruit and less grains and nuts, and if you use any animal products, use them like condiments, for flavor, not for nutrition or servings. Eat greens at least every other day, preferably every day.
Our dinner last night, for instance was a homemade whole wheat tortilla with 1/2 avocado, and a huge helping of baby salad greens with tahini garlic lemon dressing. And a bowl of black bean soup. I cooked the black beans in the crock pot, drained them and put homemade salsa on them, made with onion and garlic chives, a lot of chopped celery as I was out of cilantro, and a can of tomato sauce (my cheat) some cumin and chili peppers. I used 3 cups of of beans and salsa, a cup of water and 3-4 T tahini to make the soup. It was so good!