It is so hard for me not to be influenced by what other people think of my work. I get that my profession is mostly about rejection, and most of the time I'm fine with it (I get enough acceptances) but this week I got a particularly nasty (while pretending to be helpful) one. After all the patronizing bs, the guy said, "Hopefully this will help you revise the manuscript." I tried to shake it off, but it stung. Then today I got an acceptance from another (better) press. The book hasn't changed, so this is a lesson for me. But I can still fall prey to that. Like my blood test numbers. The bad fibrosure test really scared me. Then when I was tired, I thought, "It's the HCV; I'm really sick." Then I got a "good" number on the fibroscan. I've had some really exhausted days but what I told myself is, "Of course you're tired -- you were up all night with sick kids". I'm just as healthy/sick as I was before -- the only thing that changed is my perception.
I downloaded an audio lecture by Brene Brown about Shame and how devastating it can be. Blame says, I did something bad. Shame say, I AM bad. I've listened to it twice now. I just downloaded a few more. I have 2 weeks left on my free month. Once I download something, I burn it to CD's and import it back to my computer in mpg format, then I "return the audio" get my credits back and get another with the credits. Since I'm broke, this is a great way to get some free listening. As long as I cancel by Oct 28, no charge.
I try to remember that they are only words and I shouldn't allow words to control my emotions.