Today is the day that my mom died 3 years ago. I been thinking about it all day i have not cried yet. I have been holding it in for the night time. I don't think my family knows today was the day she died. Or maybe they do but no one is reacting. NO ONE HAS SAID A WORD. i am dying for a hug even though i hate people touching me. I know grief will always be a a part of me. I have anger, sadness and happiness all in one. I miss me mom but i am happy that she doesnt feel that pain she was feeling. Is happiness even the correct word for her leaving though? One memory that i have with my mom is her coming into my room to go to sleep... basically a sleepover. she would say " i knew you would be awake" which i would say duhh im always awake or something stupid. These are all memories now. I don't hear her voice in my head anymore i have to watch videos. I dont how people deal with a passing from a love one ans say they have been dead for 10 plus years. Like how??? You know how people say if my mom leaves this earth she gonna have to take me with her because what will i do without her. I said that too but im still fucking here. When people say that i want to tell them to Shut the FUCK UP because you will be here. You have to learn how to leave without them. I am and i have learned sooooo much. It hurts that she is not here to see my growth. I feel like why am i accomplishing these things without her here. But the world keeps spining when people die.. it doesn'y stop for anyone. We have to keep moving forward.