GLBT Rainbow Trauma Recovery Community Group
A safe place to share with other glbt folks about trauma experiences and get support without ridicule of being different
Kathelu
CHAPTER THREE
I HAVE BEEN SITTING HERE STARRING AT THE CURSOR PULSATING IN THE MESSAGE BOX FOR OVER TWENTY MINUTES, TRYING TO DECIDE WHERE TO BEGIN WITH THIS NEW ADDITION OF WHAT I NOW CALL MY MISERABLE LIFE. THE SIMPLEST WAY TO APPROACH THIS IS TO GIVE YOU ALL A TIME LINE. HERE IT GOES.
MARCH 20, ROUGHLY 6PM MY DAUGHTER AND SIL DECIDE TO GO OUT. THEY SAID THEY WERE MAKING A TRIP TO A SMALL TOWN NORTH OF HERE ABOUT NINETY MINUTES AWAY. THEIR REASON FOR THE TRIP WAS TO "SCORE SOME WEED", ACCORDING TO THEM, FROM MY NEPHEW.
FAST FORWARD-THEY WERE GONE SEVERAL HOURS. WHEN THEY RETURNED HOME THEY SEEMED VERY VERY PISSED OFF. UNKNOWN REASON.
TOO BED.
MARCH 21, DIDNT SEE THEM ALL DAY STAYED IN THEIR BED ROOM. HOUSE WAS SMELLING OF WEED.
I STAYED OUT OF THEIR WAY, THEY STAYED OUT OF MINE. LATER ON APPROXIMATELY 8PM. MY DAUGHTER CAME OUT FROM THE BEDROOM AND ANNOUNCED THAT HER YOUNGEST, 15 YRS OLD DAUGHTER WAS ON HER WAY WITH HER BF. WHEN THEY ARRIVED A FEW MINS LATER THEY RUSHED TO THE BEDROOM WHERE MY DAUGHTER IS. I WAS TIRED, HAD TO GO TO BED. SIL STILL NOT HOME. HE HAD LEFT EARLIER, I DIDNT KNOW HE DID. AT APPROXIMATELY 3AM I BEGAN TO COUGH AND CHOKE IN MY SLEEP. DURING THAT TIME I HEARD A VERY LOUD "CLANG". I HAVE MAHOGANY TABLES IN THE LIVING ROOM, WITH GLASS INSERTS IN THE CENTER. I SAT UP AND THOUGHT THE WORSE, THAT THE GLASS HAD BEEN BROKEN. WENT OUT TO THE LIVING ROOM TO FIND MY DTR (DAUGHTER) SITTING ON MY SOFA WITH HER DTR AND THE BF HITTING ON THE BONG. THE BONG HITTING MY GLASS COFFEE TABLE TOP WAS THE SOUND HEARD EARLIER. BESIDES OF THE ILL REGARD FOR THE TABLE TOP, MY GDD HITTING ON THE BONG IS NOTHING THAT I EVER CARE TO SEE LET ALONG BE A PART OF. ONE THING LED TO ANOTHER. AT THAT TIME WORDS FLEW. TOLD THEM THEY SHOULD NOT BE DOING THIS, MY DTR SAID, " I WILL SMOKE WHAT I WANT, WHEN I WANT, AND WITH WHO EVER I WANT, AND NO ONE WILL STOP ME!" I SAID THAT THE POLICE DO NOT SHARE THE SAME THEORY. MORE WORDS FLEW. SHE, MY DTR, THEN STATED AND FURTHER MORE YOU WILL BE PAYING THE TOTAL RENT THIS MONTH ON THE FIRST. AND BLAH BLAH BLAH. I SAID THAT THAT WILL NOT BE HAPPENING. AFTER MUCH ADO THEY VANISHED IN THE BEDROOM AND THE TEENS LEFT.
MARCH 22, DIDNT SEE ANYONE TOO OFTEN, HEARD THE THE DOORS AND OUT OF THE BEDROOM/BATHROOM. THAT NIGHT ALL NIGHT LOUD MUSIC COMING FROM THE ROOM. SIL WAS AT WORK PRESUMABLY. REALLY NOT SURE.
MARCH 23, HIGH NOON. MIDDLE GDD ARRIVED WITH BAGGED FOOD WENT TO BEDROOM WITH SAID. SOON AFTER SIL ARRIVED WENT TO BEDROOM. BF OF GDD ARRIVED WENT TO BEDRROM. I WENT TO LIVING ROOM TO WATCH AND SEE WHAT WAS GOING TO HAPPEN NEXT. (NOTE: THE FRONT ROOM DRAPES ARE ALWAYS CLOSED SOLID, SO NO ONE CAN PEER IN TO SEE ANYONE ON THE BONG OR SMOKING WEED .I NO SOONER SAT IN MY CHAIR AND THE DOOR IN THE LIVING ROOM OPENED UP AND THINGS BEGAN TO MOVE FAST. ANOTHER GDD AND ANOTHER BF OF HERS ENTERED WENT TO THE BEDROOM AND PROCEEDED TO EMPTY THE CONTENTS THAT WAS NOW IN HUGE LAWN/GARBAGE BAGS AND BOXES FROM THE HOUSE. I PULLED THE DRAPES AND THERE WAS A MOVING VAN, NOT A HUGE ONE, IN THE DRIVEWAY BEING FILLED WITH THE BEDROOM CONTENTS, INCLUDING THEIR BED AND BOX SPRING LESS THAN A YEAR OLD, OLD BROKEN DOWN, BEING CARRIED TO THE VAN. THE SIL WAS EMPYING THE BUILTIN WALL HUTCH, WHICH CONTAINED A PICTURE OF ME AND MY MOTHER IN AN ANTIQUE FRAME WHICH I PURCHASED TAKEN TO THE BEDROOM. I TRIED TO STOP IT, BUT THAT DIDNT WORK. AT THAT TIME I CALLED THE POLICE. THOUGHT I COULD GET THEM TO STOP, BUT THAT WAS FULTILE. THEY CLAMIED IT AND NOW ITS GONE.
THE POLICE CAME AND COULDNT DO MUCH, OR WOULDNT GET MY PICTURE BACK, WHICHEVER THE CASE.
THE POLICE TRIED TO HELP ME WITH EMOTIONAL SUPPORT. HE SAID ONCE THEY LEFT TO CLOSE THE DOOR AND LOCK IT. I DID. THE DOORS, ALL 3 HAVE DEAD BOLTS ON THEM. I HAD TO APPLY ALL THREE. UPON THE POLICE LEAVING THEY ATTEMPTED TO BODY SLAM THE DOORS TO FORCE THEM TO OPEN. IT KEPT THEM OUT. THEY WERE HEARLING WORDS TO TRY TO GET ME TO OPEN THE DOORS, BY THREATENING ME WITH GREAT BODILY HARM. I RECALLED THE POLICE.......................THEY NEVER RETURNED.
THE DAYS THAT HAVE FOLLOWED HAVE BEEN HELL. I AM TRYING TO GET THE HELL OUT OF HERE. I HAVE RESORTED TO PRUCHASING A STUN GUN TO LIMIT ANY HARM TO MYSELF. I HAVE AN ORDER IN FOR PEPER SPRAY, ADDED DOR HARMWARE.
THEN ENTER THE LANDLORD.
I CALLED HIM TO LET HIM KNOW THAT THEY VACATED. ABANDONED THE PREMISES. LEAVING ME HOLDING THE BAG.
I CANT AFFORD THIS PLACE, NOR WOULD I WANT TO.
AND OF COURSE WITH ANY STORY THERE COMES THE CLIMAX. LOL
MY HOUSING, THE ONE THAT IM AT THE TOP OF THE LIST? THERE IS THE APPT ON 5/6 THEN ANOTHER WHENEVER. THEN MAYBE JUNE I MIGHT HAVE PLACEMENT.
IM ABOUT AT THE END OF MY ROPE. I WILL CONTINUE, DRIVE FORWARD TIL I FIND THE END.
IM A SURVIVOR.
I HAVE BEEN SITTING HERE STARRING AT THE CURSOR PULSATING IN THE MESSAGE BOX FOR OVER TWENTY MINUTES, TRYING TO DECIDE WHERE TO BEGIN WITH THIS NEW ADDITION OF WHAT I NOW CALL MY MISERABLE LIFE. THE SIMPLEST WAY TO APPROACH THIS IS TO GIVE YOU ALL A TIME LINE. HERE IT GOES.
MARCH 20, ROUGHLY 6PM MY DAUGHTER AND SIL DECIDE TO GO OUT. THEY SAID THEY WERE MAKING A TRIP TO A SMALL TOWN NORTH OF HERE ABOUT NINETY MINUTES AWAY. THEIR REASON FOR THE TRIP WAS TO "SCORE SOME WEED", ACCORDING TO THEM, FROM MY NEPHEW.
FAST FORWARD-THEY WERE GONE SEVERAL HOURS. WHEN THEY RETURNED HOME THEY SEEMED VERY VERY PISSED OFF. UNKNOWN REASON.
TOO BED.
MARCH 21, DIDNT SEE THEM ALL DAY STAYED IN THEIR BED ROOM. HOUSE WAS SMELLING OF WEED.
I STAYED OUT OF THEIR WAY, THEY STAYED OUT OF MINE. LATER ON APPROXIMATELY 8PM. MY DAUGHTER CAME OUT FROM THE BEDROOM AND ANNOUNCED THAT HER YOUNGEST, 15 YRS OLD DAUGHTER WAS ON HER WAY WITH HER BF. WHEN THEY ARRIVED A FEW MINS LATER THEY RUSHED TO THE BEDROOM WHERE MY DAUGHTER IS. I WAS TIRED, HAD TO GO TO BED. SIL STILL NOT HOME. HE HAD LEFT EARLIER, I DIDNT KNOW HE DID. AT APPROXIMATELY 3AM I BEGAN TO COUGH AND CHOKE IN MY SLEEP. DURING THAT TIME I HEARD A VERY LOUD "CLANG". I HAVE MAHOGANY TABLES IN THE LIVING ROOM, WITH GLASS INSERTS IN THE CENTER. I SAT UP AND THOUGHT THE WORSE, THAT THE GLASS HAD BEEN BROKEN. WENT OUT TO THE LIVING ROOM TO FIND MY DTR (DAUGHTER) SITTING ON MY SOFA WITH HER DTR AND THE BF HITTING ON THE BONG. THE BONG HITTING MY GLASS COFFEE TABLE TOP WAS THE SOUND HEARD EARLIER. BESIDES OF THE ILL REGARD FOR THE TABLE TOP, MY GDD HITTING ON THE BONG IS NOTHING THAT I EVER CARE TO SEE LET ALONG BE A PART OF. ONE THING LED TO ANOTHER. AT THAT TIME WORDS FLEW. TOLD THEM THEY SHOULD NOT BE DOING THIS, MY DTR SAID, " I WILL SMOKE WHAT I WANT, WHEN I WANT, AND WITH WHO EVER I WANT, AND NO ONE WILL STOP ME!" I SAID THAT THE POLICE DO NOT SHARE THE SAME THEORY. MORE WORDS FLEW. SHE, MY DTR, THEN STATED AND FURTHER MORE YOU WILL BE PAYING THE TOTAL RENT THIS MONTH ON THE FIRST. AND BLAH BLAH BLAH. I SAID THAT THAT WILL NOT BE HAPPENING. AFTER MUCH ADO THEY VANISHED IN THE BEDROOM AND THE TEENS LEFT.
MARCH 22, DIDNT SEE ANYONE TOO OFTEN, HEARD THE THE DOORS AND OUT OF THE BEDROOM/BATHROOM. THAT NIGHT ALL NIGHT LOUD MUSIC COMING FROM THE ROOM. SIL WAS AT WORK PRESUMABLY. REALLY NOT SURE.
MARCH 23, HIGH NOON. MIDDLE GDD ARRIVED WITH BAGGED FOOD WENT TO BEDROOM WITH SAID. SOON AFTER SIL ARRIVED WENT TO BEDROOM. BF OF GDD ARRIVED WENT TO BEDRROM. I WENT TO LIVING ROOM TO WATCH AND SEE WHAT WAS GOING TO HAPPEN NEXT. (NOTE: THE FRONT ROOM DRAPES ARE ALWAYS CLOSED SOLID, SO NO ONE CAN PEER IN TO SEE ANYONE ON THE BONG OR SMOKING WEED .I NO SOONER SAT IN MY CHAIR AND THE DOOR IN THE LIVING ROOM OPENED UP AND THINGS BEGAN TO MOVE FAST. ANOTHER GDD AND ANOTHER BF OF HERS ENTERED WENT TO THE BEDROOM AND PROCEEDED TO EMPTY THE CONTENTS THAT WAS NOW IN HUGE LAWN/GARBAGE BAGS AND BOXES FROM THE HOUSE. I PULLED THE DRAPES AND THERE WAS A MOVING VAN, NOT A HUGE ONE, IN THE DRIVEWAY BEING FILLED WITH THE BEDROOM CONTENTS, INCLUDING THEIR BED AND BOX SPRING LESS THAN A YEAR OLD, OLD BROKEN DOWN, BEING CARRIED TO THE VAN. THE SIL WAS EMPYING THE BUILTIN WALL HUTCH, WHICH CONTAINED A PICTURE OF ME AND MY MOTHER IN AN ANTIQUE FRAME WHICH I PURCHASED TAKEN TO THE BEDROOM. I TRIED TO STOP IT, BUT THAT DIDNT WORK. AT THAT TIME I CALLED THE POLICE. THOUGHT I COULD GET THEM TO STOP, BUT THAT WAS FULTILE. THEY CLAMIED IT AND NOW ITS GONE.
THE POLICE CAME AND COULDNT DO MUCH, OR WOULDNT GET MY PICTURE BACK, WHICHEVER THE CASE.
THE POLICE TRIED TO HELP ME WITH EMOTIONAL SUPPORT. HE SAID ONCE THEY LEFT TO CLOSE THE DOOR AND LOCK IT. I DID. THE DOORS, ALL 3 HAVE DEAD BOLTS ON THEM. I HAD TO APPLY ALL THREE. UPON THE POLICE LEAVING THEY ATTEMPTED TO BODY SLAM THE DOORS TO FORCE THEM TO OPEN. IT KEPT THEM OUT. THEY WERE HEARLING WORDS TO TRY TO GET ME TO OPEN THE DOORS, BY THREATENING ME WITH GREAT BODILY HARM. I RECALLED THE POLICE.......................THEY NEVER RETURNED.
THE DAYS THAT HAVE FOLLOWED HAVE BEEN HELL. I AM TRYING TO GET THE HELL OUT OF HERE. I HAVE RESORTED TO PRUCHASING A STUN GUN TO LIMIT ANY HARM TO MYSELF. I HAVE AN ORDER IN FOR PEPER SPRAY, ADDED DOR HARMWARE.
THEN ENTER THE LANDLORD.
I CALLED HIM TO LET HIM KNOW THAT THEY VACATED. ABANDONED THE PREMISES. LEAVING ME HOLDING THE BAG.
I CANT AFFORD THIS PLACE, NOR WOULD I WANT TO.
AND OF COURSE WITH ANY STORY THERE COMES THE CLIMAX. LOL
MY HOUSING, THE ONE THAT IM AT THE TOP OF THE LIST? THERE IS THE APPT ON 5/6 THEN ANOTHER WHENEVER. THEN MAYBE JUNE I MIGHT HAVE PLACEMENT.
IM ABOUT AT THE END OF MY ROPE. I WILL CONTINUE, DRIVE FORWARD TIL I FIND THE END.
IM A SURVIVOR.
please take care and keep us in the loop to let us know how u are doing..
IT PAINS ME A GREAT DEAL TO SAY THOSE THINGS.
I AM TRYING AT THE SAME TIME NOT TO HAVE ANY INTERACTION WITH THIS LANDLORD. HE IS NOT HAPPY ABOUT WHAT IS TAKING PLACE. I DONT BLAME HIM.
MEANWHILE, I HAVE HELP TO HELP ME SORT AND PACK. GONNA BE HECTIC BUT IM IN IT FOR THE LONG HAUL. I HAVE TO SEPERATE MYSELF THATS ALL THERE IS TO IT. I'M RESIGNED TO IT. AND ONE THING I CAN DO IS ORGANIZE. THIS AINT MY FIRST RODEO!
AS LONG AS THEY ARE GONE FROM HERE, IM GOOD. I WILL FOLLOW THRU WHEN I NEED TO.
I HAVE ENDURED A LOT OF EMOTIONAL ABUSE FROM THEM, NOW I HAVE SHUT DOWN MY EMOTIONS TOWARDS THEM. I SURE THE HELL DINT ASK FOR IT, I TRIED TO BE A MOM. GOT SCREWED FOR IT. I AM DONE!!!
WILL BE IN CONTACT WHENEVER I CAN, HOPEFULLY THE SHELTER WILL HAVE AT LEAST A NET HOOKUP FOR ME. GONNA BE BUSY, WILL CHECK IN NIGHTLY IF ANYTHING NEW.
THANK YOU ALL FOR UR HELP. TAKE CARE!!
KATHY
Be safe and hope all goes well for u take care