All things are balance. Things will never be as good as they seem when they are good, and never as bad as they seem when they are bad. I don't believe in only looking at one side of things. I don't believe that only seeing the good things is wise because the fact is that there is another side right there with it. You could win the lottery and everyone thinks about the good. Never having to work, being financially set for life. No one thinks about the bad. All the family and friends, and strangers, coming out of the woodwork with hands out looking for money, the isolation that comes with having to avoid them so you don't have to say no, or saying no and having them walk away and not talk to you. These things are all part and parcel for one another. For every bad thing that has happened to you there is also a good thing you just have to be willing to look at both sides.

I don't think you are weak about writing about this topic at all, in fact it takes far more strength to stand up and say "I am afraid" than it does to sit in the corner and cower. So in that sense posting this shows a level of strength that others in similar situations are likely to lack.

In the end things will get better as long as you try. That is the key to it. You have to keep trying even if things look like they will never change no matter how much you have worked so far or what you try, you have to keep trying. The second you stop is when you get swept away with it and it just keeps going to hell more and more. In the end things will always get better even if only in a small way, maybe you make a friend, or you simply make a good meal. Those things mean it is better than it was a moment or a day ago. Keep tabs on those negatives and work to clear them, and see the positives when they are there. It's all just cleaning house my friend.... you may spend all day on one room and the house still looks like crap, but that one room looks quite a bit better than it did.... its a start.

Thank you for everything you said. It made me cry, in a good way. :)

if it helped than I am glad :D I have been in situations where it felt like everything had crumbled many times so I know how you feel in that sense. Having the realization that all things have balance and it had to get better is the only thing that made it bearable.