In case you need further proof the human race is doomed through stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on current consumer goods.


On a Sear's hair dryer: " Do not use while sleeping."
( Gee, that's the only time I have to work on my hair )


On a bag of Fritos: " You could be a winner !
No purchase necessary.
" Details inside."
( The shoplifter special )


On a bar of Dial soap: " Directions: Use like regular soap."
( And that would be how ? )


On some Swanson frozen dinners: " Serving suggestion: Defrost."
( But, it's " Just " a suggestion )


On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom): " Do not turn upside down."
( Too late ! )


On Marks Spencer Bread Pudding: " Product will be hot after heating."
( As night follows day )


On packaging for a Rowenta iron: " Do not iron clothes on body."
( But, wouldn't this save me more time ? )


On Boot's Children Cough Medicine: " Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication."
( We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5-year-olds with head-colds off those forklifts .)


On Nytol Sleep Aid: " Warning: May cause drowsiness."
( One would hope. )


On most brands of Christmas lights: " For indoor or outdoor use only."
( As opposed to what ? )


On a Japanese food processor: " Not to be used for the other use."
( I gotta admit, I'm curious. )


On Sainsbury's peanuts: " Warning: contains nuts."
( Talk about a news flash. )


On an American Airlines packet of nuts: " Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts."
( Step 3: Fly Delta. )


On a child's superman costume: " Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly."
( I don't blame the company. I blame parents for this one. )


On a Swedish chainsaw: " Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals."
( Was there a lot of this happening somewhere ? )


That's all for now. But, stay tuned...
We all need a good smile every once in a while.







Love Ya, ~Barbara