GigglesNGrins Community Group
As Charlie Chaplin said, "A day without laughter is a day wasted." This group is a place to get away from the stress of life, read a joke or two, swap old stories with friends, and make new memories. Hope you enjoy your time here!
These are from a book called, " Disorder In The Court " and are things people said in court, word for word, taken down and now published by court reporters - who had the torment of staying calm while these exchanges were taking place.
Q: Are you sexually active ?
A: No, I just lie there.
Q: What is your date of birth ?
A: July fifteenth.
Q: What year ?
A: Every year.
Q: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact ?
A: Gucci sweats and Reeboks.
Q: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all ?
A: Yes.
Q: And in what ways does it affect your memory ?
A: I forget.
Q: You forget. Can you give us an example of something that you've forgotten ?
Q: How old is your son, the one living with you ?
A: Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can't remember which.
Q: How long has he lived with you ?
A: Forty-five years.
Q: What was the first thing your husband said to you when he woke up that morning ?
A: He said, " Where am I, Cathy " ?
Q: And why did that upset you ?
A: My name is Susan.
Q: Do you know if your daughter has ever been involved in voodoo or the occult ?
A: We both do.
Q: Voodoo ?
A: We do.
Q: You do ?
A: Yes, voodoo.
Q: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney ?
A: No, this is how I dress when I go to work.
Q: Doctor, how many autopsies have you performed on dead people ?
A: All my autopsies are performed on dead people.
Q: All your responses must be oral, OK ? What school did you go to ?
A: Oral.
Q: Do you recall the time that you examined the body ?
A: The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m.
Q: And Mr.. Dennington was dead at the time ?
A: No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was doing an autopsy.
Q: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse ?
A: No.
Q: Did you check for blood pressure ?
A: No.
Q: Did you check for breathing ?
A: No.
Q: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy ?
A: No.
Q: How can you be so sure, Doctor ?
A: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
Q: But could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless ?
A: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practising law somewhere
Love Ya, ~Barbara
Q: Are you sexually active ?
A: No, I just lie there.
Q: What is your date of birth ?
A: July fifteenth.
Q: What year ?
A: Every year.
Q: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact ?
A: Gucci sweats and Reeboks.
Q: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all ?
A: Yes.
Q: And in what ways does it affect your memory ?
A: I forget.
Q: You forget. Can you give us an example of something that you've forgotten ?
Q: How old is your son, the one living with you ?
A: Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can't remember which.
Q: How long has he lived with you ?
A: Forty-five years.
Q: What was the first thing your husband said to you when he woke up that morning ?
A: He said, " Where am I, Cathy " ?
Q: And why did that upset you ?
A: My name is Susan.
Q: Do you know if your daughter has ever been involved in voodoo or the occult ?
A: We both do.
Q: Voodoo ?
A: We do.
Q: You do ?
A: Yes, voodoo.
Q: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney ?
A: No, this is how I dress when I go to work.
Q: Doctor, how many autopsies have you performed on dead people ?
A: All my autopsies are performed on dead people.
Q: All your responses must be oral, OK ? What school did you go to ?
A: Oral.
Q: Do you recall the time that you examined the body ?
A: The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m.
Q: And Mr.. Dennington was dead at the time ?
A: No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was doing an autopsy.
Q: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse ?
A: No.
Q: Did you check for blood pressure ?
A: No.
Q: Did you check for breathing ?
A: No.
Q: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy ?
A: No.
Q: How can you be so sure, Doctor ?
A: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
Q: But could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless ?
A: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practising law somewhere
Love Ya, ~Barbara
ZECILKL
Very good . thanks for sharing. You put a smile on my face.
Yrod
Another cute one. Thank You Barbara
floatingmyboat
Love it, especially the last one
Ladybug7
These made me laugh. Thanks, Barb!
Parhelia
Nice list. I would have liked to have been in the courtroom at the end of the last exchange on the list.
huelani
I love these funny true life stories! I used to date a trial lawyer ~ I'm sure these would make him cringe instead of laugh!
mysooners
So funny, Barb, really enjoyed it.
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