GigglesNGrins Community Group
As Charlie Chaplin said, "A day without laughter is a day wasted." This group is a place to get away from the stress of life, read a joke or two, swap old stories with friends, and make new memories. Hope you enjoy your time here!
bgoodwin44
-- Author Unknown
A cowboy named Bud was overseeing his herd in a remote mountainous
pasture in California when suddenly a brand-new BMW advanced toward
him out of a cloud of dust.
The driver, a young man in a Brioni suit, Gucci shoes, RayBan sunglasses
and YSL tie, leaned out the window and asked the cowboy, " If I tell you
exactly how many cows and calves you have in your herd, Will you
give me a calf " ?
Bud looks at the man, obviously a yuppie, then looks at his peacefully
grazing herd and calmly answers, " Sure, Why not " ?
The yuppie parks his car, whips out his Dell notebook computer, connects
it to his Cingular RAZR V3 cell phone, and surfs to a NASA page on the
Internet, where he calls up a GPS satellite to get an exact fix on his
location which he then feeds to another NASA satellite that scans the
area in an ultra-high-resolution photo.
The young man then opens the digital photo in Adobe Photoshop and
exports it to an image processing facility in Hamburg , Germany .
Within seconds, he receives an email on his Palm Pilot that the image
has been processed and the data stored.
He then accesses an MS-SQL
database through an ODBC connected Excel spreadsheet with email on his
Blackberry and, after a few minutes, receives a response..
Finally, he prints out a full-color, 150-page report on his
hi-tech,miniaturized HP LaserJet printer, turns to the cowboy and says,
" You have exactly 1,586 cows and calves."
" That's right. Well, I guess you can take one of my calves," says Bud.
He watches the young man select one of the animals and looks on with
amusement as the young man stuffs it into the trunk of his car.
Then Bud says to the young man, " Hey, if I can tell you exactly what
your business is, will you give me back my calf " ?
The young man thinks about it for a second and then says, " Okay, why
not " ?
" You're a Congressman for the U..S. Government," says Bud.
" Wow ! That's correct," says the yuppie, " But how did you guess that " ?
" No guessing required." answered the cowboy.
" You showed up here even
though nobody called you; you want to get paid for an answer I already
knew, to a question I never asked.
You used millions of dollars worth of
equipment trying to show me how much smarter than me you are; and you
don't know a thing about how working people make a living - or about
cows, for that matter.
This is a herd of sheep. ....
Now give me back my dog...
Love Ya, ~Barbara
A cowboy named Bud was overseeing his herd in a remote mountainous
pasture in California when suddenly a brand-new BMW advanced toward
him out of a cloud of dust.
The driver, a young man in a Brioni suit, Gucci shoes, RayBan sunglasses
and YSL tie, leaned out the window and asked the cowboy, " If I tell you
exactly how many cows and calves you have in your herd, Will you
give me a calf " ?
Bud looks at the man, obviously a yuppie, then looks at his peacefully
grazing herd and calmly answers, " Sure, Why not " ?
The yuppie parks his car, whips out his Dell notebook computer, connects
it to his Cingular RAZR V3 cell phone, and surfs to a NASA page on the
Internet, where he calls up a GPS satellite to get an exact fix on his
location which he then feeds to another NASA satellite that scans the
area in an ultra-high-resolution photo.
The young man then opens the digital photo in Adobe Photoshop and
exports it to an image processing facility in Hamburg , Germany .
Within seconds, he receives an email on his Palm Pilot that the image
has been processed and the data stored.
He then accesses an MS-SQL
database through an ODBC connected Excel spreadsheet with email on his
Blackberry and, after a few minutes, receives a response..
Finally, he prints out a full-color, 150-page report on his
hi-tech,miniaturized HP LaserJet printer, turns to the cowboy and says,
" You have exactly 1,586 cows and calves."
" That's right. Well, I guess you can take one of my calves," says Bud.
He watches the young man select one of the animals and looks on with
amusement as the young man stuffs it into the trunk of his car.
Then Bud says to the young man, " Hey, if I can tell you exactly what
your business is, will you give me back my calf " ?
The young man thinks about it for a second and then says, " Okay, why
not " ?
" You're a Congressman for the U..S. Government," says Bud.
" Wow ! That's correct," says the yuppie, " But how did you guess that " ?
" No guessing required." answered the cowboy.
" You showed up here even
though nobody called you; you want to get paid for an answer I already
knew, to a question I never asked.
You used millions of dollars worth of
equipment trying to show me how much smarter than me you are; and you
don't know a thing about how working people make a living - or about
cows, for that matter.
This is a herd of sheep. ....
Now give me back my dog...
Love Ya, ~Barbara
Ladybug7
LOL...thanks, Barb!
franciann2016
Okay. Okay. Let's be honest here. You worked for the government, right?!(lol)
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