I have been scared of getting herpes ever since I became sexually active.  When I was in college a nurse visually diagnosed me (without any testing!)  I therefore assumed I had herpes for years and when I found out I didn't, I have been vigilant about being safe and getting tested.  Again and again over the years I got blood tests which determined I didn't have Herpes 2 (genital herpes).  I didn't even have Herpes 1 (cold sores) which MOST people have.  I was very proud and relieved that at age 48 I still hadn't gotten any form of herpes. 

Flash forward to now...

About 3 weeks ago I started becoming sexually active with a new partner.  He assured me adamantly that he didn't have any STD's.  I believed him, either because he sounded so dead serious or maybe I just wanted to believe him.  Lo and behold, a few days ago my lip started bleeding when I was flossing, which I thought was weird, but I dismissed it as irritation from wearing these masks all day.  But then a few days later a sore appeared on another spot around my mouth and this looked just like the photos of cold sores I've seen, along with being painful and tender to the touch.  I rushed to the clinic to get a type-specific swab DNA test, because if I have to tell future partners I have a herpes virus, I would obviously prefer it to be cold sores.  I should take a moment to say that although BOTH types of herpes can be transmitted by oral-to-genital contact, the type 2 virus more commonly present in genital herpes is much more stigmatized.  I can't eat or sleep waiting for the results to come in.  It was such a source of comfort to me that I never got either type.  Now I'm 48 and still single I wonder how I will ever find a partner who is ok with this.  Does anyone have advice on how to navigate dating with a positive herpes diagnosis?