Hi,

So i just got my diagnosis yesterday. Its been very rough. My husband and i have been married for almost 15 years. We have 2 kids.

This past year, we decided to try the lifestyle. I admit it was a lot of fun. We went to parties and clubs and spent time at a resort. We always practiced safe sex and only had intimacy with a few couples.

However my doctor reminded me that i might have had this before i met my husband. Some people go decades without any symptoms. 

My husband tested negative for it several months ago, and while i told my doctor to test me about the same time for "stds", he didnt include that one, citing that I had no symptoms. Um. Yeah. I still dont. 

I know some of you reading this probably think I got what was coming, and on a very big level, I understand that, and agree.

But on another level, it still hurts. It is awful knowing that my husband and I can't be intimate the way we used to be. I am considering leaving him to let him have a chance at a normal sex life. We were so very close. I can't imagine our marriage bed now with condoms and limits. 

I consider us young and attractive. He would have a good chance at someone without it. 

I guess I just needed to send this message into the void and see if there are others living with this too. 

I'd love to hear your take on things. 

Thanks for listening.