Gaslighting and Ambient Abuse Survivors Community Group
Gaslighting is a form of intimidation or psychological abuse in which false information is presented to the victim, making them doubt their own memory, perception and sanity. *Note: This is a quiet group that chooses to post privately to each other most of the time, so you will not see a lot of forum posts.
Hello,
I am knew to this group and new to support groups in general.my counselor suggested I look I. To a support group for gas lighting and emotional abuse. I have been in this relationship for 7 years 6 too long. I know I need to get out and I know it will be better when I get through it all but for some reason I cannot make myself do it. He is I very good and manipulatuve talker and to him this relationship and it's issues are all my fault and there is something wrong with me. He knows my kryptonite i am sure of it. Guilt. He constantly makes me feel guilty. "You don't care about me no one cares about me" "no one gives a @&$#about what I have to say", "no one will listen to me or be there for me and that includes you" and more.
I have gotten the nerve twice to say it's over and both times he has lost it and cried and made me feel guilty with things he says and to make that go away I stay.
My logic says this is bad and this can't continue and this is abuse. I have a massive support system that I know will be there for me but yet. I cannot put and end to it.
The house we live in is mine I pay the bills and the mortgage, I am on the title not him and for the longest time that has also kept me in this cause I am going to lose so much but I know I can't think that way.
I feel if this wasn't my house I would have just packed up and moved out. So why can I not just end it and ask him to leave?
Thank you for the words of encouragement. Your right I do now know what's going on. Logically I get it and it makes sense and it's not what I want with my life. What I am Struggling with most is why can't I just say the words and put an end to this. I have been trying to figure it out for years now and uninstall are only getting worse. His biggest issue now is that I Sunny have a lot to say that I don't attend enough time trekking him how glad I am he is around and telling him how much I want him her. Problem is I know it's a lie. What I want right now is leave in my life. My counselor likened it to quick sand the longer you stand in it the deeper it gets and there is a rope why there that can save me am I have to do is grab it. Yet I cannot grab it I cannot make my body reach out for it and I don't know why. It's a fear I think a fear of the Holy he will play, the yelling, the name calling and that he will try to take everything from me. And what he may do it of spite ( nothing violent that I am sure of) he told me when we started dating things he has dune with past exes and a landlord that screwed him over.
I shouldn't be scared right? Nothing will be as bad as the daily verbal and emotional abuse, the yelling and name calling.
I just feel so stupid that I cannot make my self say the words, face him and tell him it's over..