I too am married to a CG. I have attended a GamAnon meeting and will probably go again today. I was reading all the posts from one of the other gambling support groups on this website concerning divorce and have a question for ya'll. Is trying enough? My H says he is going to GA once a week. We have it in our area three times a week, I think he should be there every time the doors open.
Recently I have reached a point where I'm seiously considering divorce, but wonder if I expect too much from him or not enough from me. He has a habit of not coming home after work until after 8 or 9 at night. By that time, the kids are taken care of and I am so angry that he has once again dumped everything on me, I just want to go to bed. When I tell him I'll leave him if he doesn't stop, he goes off on some tangent that ends up blaming me for trying to control him and his calling me rude when I refuse to join in his fight.
The GamAnon leader said something that is sticking in my mind, she said trying is lying.
He is going to GA, he still doesn't come home in a timely manner, he will help around the house if I specifically request it on one of those rare evenings that he makes it home before bedtime. I feel like he is still in denial about his bad behavior and I think he is not trying hard enough.
I told him he needed to join the family for dinner and get involved in our activities, he says I'm putting too many rules on him. Is this just BS or is trying enough?
Recently I have reached a point where I'm seiously considering divorce, but wonder if I expect too much from him or not enough from me. He has a habit of not coming home after work until after 8 or 9 at night. By that time, the kids are taken care of and I am so angry that he has once again dumped everything on me, I just want to go to bed. When I tell him I'll leave him if he doesn't stop, he goes off on some tangent that ends up blaming me for trying to control him and his calling me rude when I refuse to join in his fight.
The GamAnon leader said something that is sticking in my mind, she said trying is lying.
He is going to GA, he still doesn't come home in a timely manner, he will help around the house if I specifically request it on one of those rare evenings that he makes it home before bedtime. I feel like he is still in denial about his bad behavior and I think he is not trying hard enough.
I told him he needed to join the family for dinner and get involved in our activities, he says I'm putting too many rules on him. Is this just BS or is trying enough?
annkjma
I wish I knew the answer you seek, because I likely need it, too. I've never actually been to Gam Anon. I'm married for 4 years now (not our first marriage, four kids combined) and he runs a big company, gets paychecks the likes of which I could never have imagined....like one check is more than my year's salary when I was working as a counselor at a Mental Health Center. And, he blows it all. Every. Last. Dime. We could have been set for life at this point with the money he's gambled. We just had a flood in our new home, with an insurance check of 32k.....which the restoration company is expecting to be paid in the next week as our whole house is being renovated. He spent it. My girlfriends asked me this weekend why I stay. I have no idea...I just know that the kids all need me (his and mine), and I am a stay at home mom and probably have it better than most, and he needs someone in his life and that someone is me. I keep the holidays happy, the lunches packed nicely, the weekends fun while he's gambling and life goes on. We don't have much of a marriage, but get along okay and sleep in separate quarters. Life is not easy. This is not our home. Heaven is. The only thing that gets me through is that belief, and I make the best of it. Try to hide money when you can to make ends meet when your spouse gambles.
Join the Conversation