Hi, everyone. I hope that it's okay that I am not ready to share my real name. If, however, you would like to respond to me and have something to refer to myself as...you can call me Chewie (a very old nickname). This is my first time ever attempting to join any type of support group. I am most definitely a very stubborn and hard headed person who has always thought that I would be able to self-diagnos myself by reading medical journals on the internet and by helping others. In the reality, I realized that I truly didn't want to admit that I had problems. Dear god, when you admit something like that then you have to do something about it and I knew deep down I wasn't ready...not to give up the things that were comfort to me even though I'm smart enough to know that they were also slowly killing me. I've never been a suicidal person, so I guess this was a way to slowly make myself disappear without it being considered suicide. I not only suffer from an eating disorder (anorexia and bulimia), but I am also an alcoholic and I have bipolar disorder. God, I was so angry for so long. Not only did I have ONE struggle, but THREE?? How is that fair? I was so selfish and self-absorbed, I shouldn't even say "was" because those traits don't necessarily disappear overnight. Anyways, after multiple seizures, trips to the hospitals (rolling my eyes at the doctors telling me I was going to kill myself if I stayed on the same path), getting so drunk I would wake up with my face bashed in and having someone else tell me where and how I had fell, etc. etc. I don't really know how, but I woke up...I think. It's still a little early to tell. This is still brand new to me, my taking the steps to recovery. I am two days out of an alcohol detox center (which if any of you have been to, it's more like jail) and I am researching behavioral health facilities that deal with all three of my mental disorders. I thought that in the meantime to keep me in the mindset of getting through this, I should find a support group to talk to and hear their stories and try to contribute to people that need help too. I think we all know that until you go down that rabbit hole yourself, you don't feel like anyone can understand you. I am here to be honest and open and would like any help and would like anyone to feel free to ask me for any help as well.