Family Scapegoats Community Group

This is a Group for discussing Scapegoating. The Scapegoat is often the family member who tells or acts out the truth ("the Truth Teller") regarding the family's dysfunction that no one else is prepared to acknowledge or talk about. It is this truth telling that makes them the target for carrying the blame for all the family's problems. If you are the Scapegoat...

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Relationships & Sexuality
/ Family Scapegoats Support Group

Mothers and their Daughters

epicjourney
epicjourney
If we don't fix it, it will affect every other relationship we ever have:

http://www.goodreads.com/book/show/85688.When_You_and_Your_Mother_Can_t_Be_Friends

--EJ
epicjourney
epicjourney
Go to the "Open Preview" tab under the book title on the left side of the page. Great writing!
AllKheirlyn5
AllKheirlyn5
It appears this writer is mostly blaming "the mothers" for the problems and giving t"the daughters" a passcard full of understanding for their troubles. It is unfortunate to publish something blaming the parents again for failed relationships resulting in alienation and estrangements

How is this relevant to "scapegoating" ...other than the author perpetuates scapegoating of the "badmothers"

AllK
epicjourney
epicjourney
Well, I don't see the author blaming either side, but I can understand how it can be taken that way. I see the author showing the daughters various pathways forward toward reconciling. In doing so, it is often necessary to validate their feelings, right or wrong. Personally, I think that should be done on both "sides." But really, there are no "sides" to my way of thinking. I find it is best to take a wholistic approach that legitimates all views.

The author specifically tells daughters to think about the issues and disagreements in the context of their mother's upbringing, values, and experiences. IMO, we were raised in a much more strict social environment in the 1960s and 70s that young adults today just cannot relate to.

Often these patterns get repeated from generation to generation without thinking, and can lead to ongoing scapegoating and estrangements.

--EJ