I am glad you recognize that you are not inadequate. Healthy self esteem is so important when trying to overcome.

They are making me feel so bad for falling out with them though. Like it's all my fault. I have had enough. I will never be free of them will I. They will be calling me nasty names now.

Rachy, if they are calling you nasty names, just ignore it. Do not let it get to you. Find your own worth, in your own way. You are not like them. You are better than they are. Do not sink to their level (I did that once and wish I hadn't). Be the bigger person. Hold your head high. Be proud of who you are. Be the best person you can be.

If you have to, block their emails and phone numbers, even if it just for a while. Give yourself a break from the craziness. Eventually one of two things will happen. Either they will come to their senses and realize they have to treat you better (this is not likely what will happen). Or, you will discover you can get by without them, in fact, you will discover you can thrive without them. You can be yourself, pursue your interests, take risks, whatever you want... and you will not have to listen to them laugh at you and mock you. You will discover the rest of the world loves you, and sees the worth in you.

Thank you, yes I have blocked my Brothers numbers now as I have had enough of their bullying tactics! I much appreciate the support. I will not go back, there has to be changes to the way they treat me first and promises and apologies that I know will not happen. not even from my own Mother who is very narcissistic and is never wrong!

Good for you! Let us know how you're doing.

Iam doing better and have started turning down invitations to family events. I know my mother is spitting feathers about this but it is her own fault as I fell she created this whole mess herself! It felt really liberating. I also no longer have feelings or care, its weird, I can't feel anything for them at all but I think that's me breaking free, only so much you can love someone with nothing but hatred back, before you start hating the person yourself, no matter how good of a person you are. Hope you are OK. Hugs xxx

I also thought I was the ‘damaged’ one - the inadequate one - the inferior one.

Hatred is the natural reaction to being cubby holed and scapegoated by people who consider themselves your superiors.

Hatred certainly is a natural reaction. However it is important not to live with hatred for the long haul as it will eat you up from the inside. It takes a long time, but if you are able to work through the feelings from hatred to understanding, you will come out a much happier, healthier person. Understanding does not mean putting yourself in harms way. It means coming to terms with the dynamic and either keeping your distance from those who continually hurt you, or finding ways to cope with the treatment. I use this forum to vent on those days when anger rears its ugly head, and I stay away from family as much as I am able. I have had lots of days, even years, when anger overtook my life. My new way of dealing is to try to view my scapegoaters as defective.... to try to feel sorry for them instead of feeling hatred. I have finally learned that what they say or do does not define who I am. I have started to just agree with them and let them be right. Once their words and actions lose their power over you, you will be much more able to deal with it.