Family Scapegoats Community Group
This is a Group for discussing Scapegoating. The Scapegoat is often the family member who tells or acts out the truth ("the Truth Teller") regarding the family's dysfunction that no one else is prepared to acknowledge or talk about. It is this truth telling that makes them the target for carrying the blame for all the family's problems. If you are the Scapegoat...
I'm new to understanding that I'm a scapegoat. I just thought I was stupid, not normal, just defective...things started pretty young for me, my dad being the one who made me the family trash can, my mother who enabled. I always felt great sympathy and love for them regardless. It turns out my younger sister aka golden girl is a psychopath, she carries the torch for my father but skillfully uses me in the family to make herself shine. This has been going on for years. A few years ago she confessed to me that she has been serial cheating on her husband (super nice guy), for years. He found out about one of her affairs, she blamed it on a top secret childhood trauma and insisted that her counselor told her to confess to me. Now I have to face her husband knowing the truth. She feels zero remorse, just annoyed she got caught. I do not know the motive for telling me her sins...it's a cross I do not want to carry...plus she now is making the moves on my new husband. Any thoughts anyone? I have decided to cut my ties with the family, my mother still enables and my children are tired of the whole dynamic of it all.
Thank you
Kate
Regarding her telling you about her affair, I would let her know that if she continues to confide in you (assuming you stay in contact), you cannot be responsible for who you tell about it. It is not your secret to hold, it's hers.
From my perspective, getting distance from the drama is a wonderful thing. It allows peace to reign instead of turmoil.
Good luck!