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It's only been a little over One Month since He left Me, so maybe it's just too soon yet. I don't know. Am I silly, or stupid, for not having moved ALL of His Things completely OUT OF MY SIGHT yet ?! What I'm talking about is the Few Things My Exbf left behind - a stack of about 20 - 25 Video Game Magazines, a Cloth Bag of " Adult " Magazines.. lol.. by the Side of the Bed that used to be His, a Few pieces of clothing in the Chest of Drawers He used, and Empty DVD CASES MIXED IN with the DVDS He didn't take... because He was TOO SELFISH to leave the Empty Cases at least ALL in ONE PLACE so it'd be Easier for ME to separate them from the rest.
That's all He left behind, but it's still been enough to remind Me of Him whenever I look at them - meaning really just the Video Game Magazines, because They're actually still sitting where He left them... on a Shelf directly underneath the TV in the Living Room. The Other Things I don't look at. I haven't been able to bring Myself to go through ALL OF THE DVDS yet, to find the EMPTY CASES. I'm afraid that when I go through the DVDS that it'll stir up Old Memories, Good or Bad, but enough to make Me Cry - and I don't want to stir that up ! I can still remember when He put the stack of His Video Game Magazines on that shelf underneath the TV, so maybe that's got something to do with it. It's like a Frozen Moment in Time to Me, perhaps ? I don't know. All of this sounds kind of Nuts now that I look at it. I guess I should maybe PUSH Myself to Box ALL of His Things up, and put the BOX AWAY in a Closet out of My Sight. Should I push Myself to do that ? Or do it in My Own Time.. a little bit at a Time ? What do You think ? Am I being Nuts about this ?
After all, WHY would I want to hang onto Reminders of Him being Here, when He was so Emotionally, AND Physically, Abusive Towards Me. Every Day with Him was a " Coin Toss " literally, because I never knew how Each Day would turn out. It could start off TERRIFIC, and some tiny little thing could set off His RAGE, and then I'd end up HURT AGAIN !
That's all He left behind, but it's still been enough to remind Me of Him whenever I look at them - meaning really just the Video Game Magazines, because They're actually still sitting where He left them... on a Shelf directly underneath the TV in the Living Room. The Other Things I don't look at. I haven't been able to bring Myself to go through ALL OF THE DVDS yet, to find the EMPTY CASES. I'm afraid that when I go through the DVDS that it'll stir up Old Memories, Good or Bad, but enough to make Me Cry - and I don't want to stir that up ! I can still remember when He put the stack of His Video Game Magazines on that shelf underneath the TV, so maybe that's got something to do with it. It's like a Frozen Moment in Time to Me, perhaps ? I don't know. All of this sounds kind of Nuts now that I look at it. I guess I should maybe PUSH Myself to Box ALL of His Things up, and put the BOX AWAY in a Closet out of My Sight. Should I push Myself to do that ? Or do it in My Own Time.. a little bit at a Time ? What do You think ? Am I being Nuts about this ?
After all, WHY would I want to hang onto Reminders of Him being Here, when He was so Emotionally, AND Physically, Abusive Towards Me. Every Day with Him was a " Coin Toss " literally, because I never knew how Each Day would turn out. It could start off TERRIFIC, and some tiny little thing could set off His RAGE, and then I'd end up HURT AGAIN !
Love, Peace and Hugs
Thank you for your perspective Joey. I appreciate that. We all would be happier if we tried to remember something good about everyone. Not to change any facts or sugar coat anything. Not to forget anything. Again, it's about perspective.