Emotional Affairs Community Group
Support for people whose spouse / significant other had an emotional affair.
I just found out my husband has been having a emotional affair with a women he worked with. He has since left that job. But I am having such a hard time with feeling as if I can trust him again. Wondering what she could do that I couldn't and feeling bad about myself. Does anyone have any advice on how I ca. move past this and save my marriage?
If you feel your marriage is worth saying, I would say to have an open and honest discussion with your husband. Explain to him that to you emotional betrayal is still an act of betrayal, tell him that you are deeply hurt by his actions, that as a result your trust him significantly less, and ask him if there he feels there is anything lacking in the relationship (e.g. sex, excitement, anything) that way if maybe there was room for improvement now you know. I don't know you but from a lot of the research I have done and women I have talked to, it seems as though at the heart of most emotional betrayals is usually the following :
1. Men with low self-esteem wanting to get validated outside of himself and ends up falling into temptation
2. Men who have the tendency to lie and cheat whether you are an AMAZING woman or not this one has more to do with him
3. Men who who lack respect for their relationship and/or marriage
4. Men who possess some of the above qualities AND get bored, seek excitement and end up straying...bug again nothing to do with you UNLESS you have not done your part.
IT's totally undertsandable and mature that you are seeking answers within yourself to see if and where you went wrong. Kuddos to you for taking responsibility but remember fidelity of any kind is a two way street.