My sistuation is quite a long story. My husband and I have been together for 23 years married 17. We met when I was 15 and him 17. We have always had a drought relationship ups and downs so to say. We had our first child two months before we were married. I was his first sexual encounter. The cheating starting on his end even before we were married he took a girl home one night and kissed her felt bad and broke up with me. He took another girl home who needed a ride and ended up sleeping with her. I didn't find this out until I was pregnant with my son. When we got engaged and I had told him while we were not dating I had had a sexual relationship with someone else 2 years earlier. Granted we were dating while he slept with this girl. We stayed together got married all was pretty well for several years. We had another child 3 years later who is Autistic.
Well 5 years ago I befriended a woman who fell head over heals for me and she kissed me, I told him out right I didnt want her she was crazy obsessed with me and he got angry and slept with my bestfriend. I forgave him we went on. Come 3 years ago he was on his phone all the time texting, would never put it down, distant from me ect. I asked him if he was ok he would say yes. A woman from work would call he would say oh she needs to know something, I trusted him. I would go to work he would meet her our 17 yr old son caught him and him talking and texting her and confronted him. I found his phone all kinds of nasty messages about me saying I would not put out and I was just awful things it hurt. He accused me so many times of cheating yet I never did , except when we were apart. This womans husband even called me to tell me what was going on. I forgave him again all was well for a few months. I asked him to go to counseling he won't.
Well all was well for a few months then he started pushing me away. Yelling being his old self I can't stand living in constant fear I will say something to make him upset. He dont like me going anywhere with friends I feel I must tell him who when and where. I stay depressed and feel so down. I've lost 150 lbs and I'm wondering if that's why he did what he did. I did feel more beautiful until this.
Well in Feb a co worker befriended me and we became close. He confided in me his wife had an affair and they were now divorced. He could tell I had a heavy heart and well one thing led to another over a few months. We ended up kissing and sparks flew, I have not felt this way in years. He makes me feel beautiful and like I am wanted and needed. Not only sexually but as a person. I know I love my husband but I am not in love with him. I fear asking for a divorce he wouldn't have it as he is so demanding and controlling. I ended up sleeping with this man who is 11 years my Sr. I dont feel ashamed as my husband only wants to make me feel like I am a object for his satisfaction when i have sex with him. I have never been the one who was pleasured first in my whole life. Now I am stuck in a cross roads and I know yall may have some negative things to say. However with a Autistic child it's also hard to change a environment for her granted it's not the best of one. She still loves him and he treats her good.
I'm sixteen. Leave if you thing I'm just trying to be edgy.I don't know what to do or where to go. I don't belong with anyone. I don't even belong with stoners for the love of god! People always say how charming and nice I am, yet there's no one I can turn to. I'm scared to tell my parents that my depression is creeping back up because I don't want to disappoint them. They're spending all of this...
I do have health issues and I am trying to get them undercontrol. I want so much to have someone in my life. I miss the compainship of being with someone. I am a very romantic person,always have been. My mind says go on the dateing sites and just start talking to someone.My body says not yet.(I have servere asthma and back trouble).But I need that compainionship. Do you think it would be wise to...