Emotional Abuse Community Group
This group is for people who live their lives with an emotionally abusive person. Often Isolation is a barrier to getting help and support from others who know what you are going through.
Hi -
Thanks for this forum. I am a 42 year old man married for 13 years. My story can be long but I'll try to be brief.
We have no financial issues as we both work and I have done well at my job to provide a life neither of us envisioned (though not rich doing well). My wife and I have no kids but she has withheld/ not been interested in sex for about 7-8 years. For 5 years she has said she had no respect and disrespected me because I was unable to get my brother to pay me money from a life insurance policy that my dad left him. Whenever the topic would come up she would blow up, yell, occasionally call me names and proceed to put me on silent treatment for an extended period of time. Sometimes up to around 4 weeks. I accepted blame and then the cycle would repeat, especially around holidays as I would get nervous and didn't want to anger her because she did not want to see my family.
She recently started to accuse me of cheating. She handles all our financials, gives me a certain "allowance". She goes in my wallet and saw a lot of singles in there and thought I was going to strip clubs. In fact, she now has been taking them and throwing them into a drawer for savings.
She does want to control projects, make up projects, etc around house without my input. I get blamed for working too much though I am home to labor around the house.
She has a lack of empathy for my feelings now, even in the wake of my fathers death. I do get blamed for her unhappiness and there are never any conversations when I challenge her positions on anything. Just raising of the voice. Only recently she has began accepting some blame for issues with the marriage. I have been afraid often to mention if personal property has been broken or if I want to go out at times. In past, she texts me very often if out to try to get me home early. I do often feel like I am being controlled but I don't know for sure as I don't really talk to others about marriage issues.
Sometimes I think I'm going crazy and making too much of an issue of stuff. But sometimes I think things aren't normal.