I’m 24 years old and I’m a victim of complete emotional abuse. I’m sure of this because of how many times it’s happened. I met him when I was 18... 18 years old. Still a kid. We met through a mutual friend who warned me repeatedly not to get involved with him because of his mental instabilities. He had a child with a woman he was constantly on again off again with. I wasn’t looking for a relationship so it didn’t matter. I hated him for the first 2 weeks. He was rude and areogant.. he called me out on everything I tried to hide about myself. But for some reason I was still seeing him every weekend and going on dates with him. We still kept it casual, no labels, just screwing around and having fun. I went to Ohio with my mom to visit family and he called me and told me that we couldn’t see each other anymore because he wanted to try to work things out with his child’s mother. I laughed because it wasn’t a big deal. We were just 2 people fooling around... but something was off. For some reason my heart hurt and I hated it. But I ignored it. He called a couple of days later and told me everything about his child’s mother. He told me she was a bad mom and she just wasn’t the right person blah blah blah.. he spent hours talking and I just listened. I got home and it went right back to the way it was. We saw each other casually. One day he called me and started off as though he was going to cut things off again. Only to ask me to date him. I laughed and smiled and of course said yes. After a few months I moved in. Big mistake. I lived with him and acted as his wife and the mother of his son for months. Everything was great until he broke up with me for no reason and led me to believe it was all my fault. I was lazy, irresponsible, and had no drive. I was 19. He was 25. Ibwas absolutely devastated. I had never felt pain like this. But it was lent over. After only a week, he came to my moms and asked me to be with him and apologized for making the mistake of breaking up with me. I went home with him, spent a passionate weekend with him. Then on Sunday it was time for him to go pick up how son. I looked at his phone while he was in the shower and he had been texting his sons mother all weekend. Telling her that he just wishes she were there and that they could be together. I didn’t say anything to him about it. After all, he was dropping me off at my moms to pack up and move in with him again while he went and picked up his son. We were going to be a family! He dropped me off, I packed up, and I waited. An hour goes by.... hour and a half... 2 hours. I get a text. A simple text that says “I’m sorry my heart is somewhere else”. I called him. He said he was going to go get an engagement ring and marry her. I didn’t know pain like this existed. I wanted to die. It became physical pain. I froze. You know the feeling... months go by... I got my own place.. he starts texting me again. Love bombing me and telling me everything I wanna hear. We dated and broke up 2 more times again for no reason other then me not being good enough. We got back together this time and stayed together. Things were good in the beginning just like always.... but as he got bored things died down. A year went by.. I was 21 and I had a job at a movie theatre. Our relationship was falling apart. He mocked me when I told him I loved him. He made fun of me for wanting to marry him... if I made the smallest mistake I was breathed mercilessly and called every name you can think of. I drifted away. A man at my work made me feel beautiful. Told me I was a great person and was everything I wasn’t getting in the relationship I was in. I cheated on him. To this day, I hate myself for it. My abuser found out months later and we broke up. I moved to Alabama and thought I’d never see him again. Life actually seemed ok, though. I found a place to live, bought my own car, had new friends and a new job... I was feeling comfortable. As soon as this happened, he showed up again. He drove to Alabama and took me out to an amazing dinner. Told me he wanted me to be his wife and have his child. I was hesitant this time but what was I going to do? Send him away and possibly lose my chance to be with the only person I’ve ever imagined marrying?! So I went back. We moved into a new house together. Things were beautiful... for 2 weeks. We got into a horrible fight when he told me he regretted bringing me back. He apologized for it and I let it go. We stayed together for 2 years. We fought all the time. If I brought up anything to him that was bothering me or told him how something he did made me feel, he quickly found an excuse to turn it around and say something like “I act this way because you are lazy. I act like this because you left crumbs on the counter. You didnt iron my shirt properly.” And my weight also became a huge wedge in the relationship. I’m 5’10” and 185 lbs. I am a little overweight but I don’t think I look horrible. But it was a constant argument. I wouldn’t eat for days, I wouldn’t eat anything around him, I went to the gym every day, and rode my bike to work desperately trying to lose the weight. It wasn’t working. One night I came home and he had drawn up a contract. Lose 50 lbs in 6 months or we are breaking up. I signed it after much yelling and crying. 5 months went by and all we did was argue. I got bleach on one of his work shirts and that was the last straw for him. He came home, we broke up, I went to Alabama. Not even 3 months later. He comes back. This time I’m ready, this time I will have no problem telling him to turn around and leave because I’m not going back to him. He gets there and I start telling him no and he cuts me off. His son calls and asks if I will marry his father. There is a ring in front of me. I said yes. This was exactly 2 months ago. Last night he told me he can’t stop thinking about his ex (a girl he dated for 2 weeks). He says the only reason he could be thinking of her is because I’m not providing him with what he wants from a relationship. I can’t believe it. I was trying on dresses 3 days ago. He bought me a car and paid off my debt. He called me his wife over and over. He told me to forget absolutely it the past because he is a different person. He said I was his other half and that he couldn’t imagine being with anyone else. But here I am. Leaving again. I told him to leave me alone this time and that he’d never see me again. I’m in so much pain and I just want this cycle to end...