I am not doing well either. I am actually considering going inpatient if I can get our health insurance to cover most of it. I have no medicine at the moment. I have tried 14 different antidepressants and SSRI's over the past 10 years and nothing has helped to this point. I have been doing bad for awhile but my depression is a lot worse now. My anxiety is through the roof. I feel like I am jumping out of my skin most days. I keep hoping something will happen for the better, with my mental health. Hope something happens and you have your good days again soon. It sure would be nice if we all could feel better and have better days. I guess all we can do is hang in there and try not to lose sight of hope.

well I guess if I took all that I'm supposed to I'm up to 21 also, but who says I take them all. I have two meds that cannot be mixed within 4 hrs of each other and they are 3X's a day, So if I took them like I should (Including liquid crap that looks like bedadine (sp?) and one chewable/pukable one). I'm good at taking the absolute necessities, but they always get mad that I don't take them. Now they are putting me on a Dr. ordered diet that absolutly sucks and brings my mood even lower, if that's possible.

Well I don't mean to compare in any way. I wish you only some resemblence of happiness....OH WAIT, i didn't count the shot, but it's only once a month...those hotflashes are just GREAT FUN (yes at 34). Well, we are here, USE US.

I can sympathize. When I feel bad, I tend to feel less sad or depressed than I feel as though I'm floating in a fog. Sad is reserved for distinct moments in time or for a truly depressive episode. I am, though, feeling more dazed and disconnected at this moment than I have in quite some time. Yesterday was great and bad and great all in a row. I finished my Christmas shopping and I did something nice for a stranger. I realized that I had been abandoned by most of my friends. I was held and loved.

So much rolled up together; so much to try to understand, to try to feel so deeply and interpret into something useful. I've spent the last 24 hours just trying to phrase it all in my head into something that can be expressed at all.

Personally, I'm not on any medication at the moment. I took myself off my last round in the spring because I was tired of feeling nothing at all (except horribly sick if I missed a dose by as little as half an hour). Sometimes I wonder if I shouldn't try again, but so far I've managed to avoid any episodes that make me feel like I desperately need it. So for now I'm working on myself without chemicals in my brain. I really don't want to go back to the endless talking and prodding and testing.

Be glad I love you so much. Be glad Ben is not moving to New Zealand. Be glad you don't have to force feed me.
Be glad I love you so much.
Suzy

Bill - I am sorry that you are in such a bad place right now, but know that you are not alone. Not sure if it is the weather, or the holiday season, or just the general sucky-ness of life at the moment, but everyone I have talked to is feeling at their personal all-time-low. (Not sure this will really help you, but...)

On the bright side, no one has thrown a shoe at me today... Sorry, couldn't resist! :)

Take care and be good to yourself!

Jeez, I'm in a bad place, too. I'm broke, can't find a job, sick with long-term mystery illness, failing classes, being hounded by debt collectors, and still mourning a lost friendship. Oh, and it's the holidays, which I generally dislike. Phooey.

Tor, I've been having hot flashes since 28. Good times!

But no one's thrown a shoe at me either, though. At least not today :)

Well I'm feeling a little skippy here now
I think the holidays do have an effect on me
and your response's help me feel less alone
and I am so grateful to you

May Gods love breath into us
the will to go on

Thanks for the sentiment, but I don't want to catch whatever he's got, so I'd appreciate if God not breathe on me. I...have been great for the past few weeks. In fact, I've not felt this good in three years. Chances are it won't last, and later on I'll be wallowing in the depression again, but for now I feel good. I've never taken medication, nor will I. I have a psychology background, and spent a lot of time on the Cognitive/Behavioural side of the house. I think that prepared me for coping with everything, and making sure I'm constantly trying to fight the dysthymia. Mostly, my sister and oath-brother have told me what meds did to them, which has been enough to keep me cognitively on top of things. I'm glad you're feeling skippier Bill, may it continue for you.

Hey PyrrhicVictor !
You have a valid concern there, perhaps that was a little over the top.
-who am I to tell God where or who to breath on.
I wasn't mindful of your health or "comfort zone"
It was presumptuous of me at the very least.
I shall register your concerns so as to better prepare my prayers in a manner more considerate of your physical and spiritual preference's.

No worries. I'm an ordained minister. I know that when my Gods are breathing on me, it means I have some serious work that needs to be accomplished. I've got plenty a work load thanks.