I sure do know how much it hurts. I can honestly say, I have been kicked way more times than I would have liked for caring way too much. Sometimes I wish I cared less, then it wouldnt hurt so bad. I dont know how to care less for others. At times, I feel good that I care so much, but then there are times where I just feel so stupid and ignorant. I have let friends and family walk all over me, cause in someway its what I think I deserve. How do you stop caring too much? I am still trying to figure that one out. I want to care, but I also just want the hurt and disappointment to go away at the same time.

I understand what you are saying about caring too much. I am sorry if someone hurt you -- inadvertently or not.

As for caring about other people... For some reason, for me it is so much easier to invest more in other people's happiness than in my own. Then I end up feeling hurt when the relationship is out of balance. I am not sure that they always get that there is even something wrong, b/c it doesn't occur to them that anyone would care/invest that much in someone else's well-being. (I have to wonder: Was it all in my head the whole time? Did I make it more than it ever really was and now I am just facing reality?)

Or maybe it is just that I see how deeply other people seem to feel/want things, and I just can't seem to get past this flat/disconnected feeling -- even when good things happen. Sometimes I wish I could be like them, those people who feel connected to the world, but I am not sure that I would know what to do with all the "stuff" that would come with it... Am I even making sense at this point? sorry for rambling.

Achoo, it all makes perfect sense. My experiences have been similar. Pouring everything into relationships only to be met with disappointment, detachment, and in at least one case psychological and emotional abuse. It feels to me that placing more importance on the happiness of others somehow it gives me something to strive towards. At times it's as if I've all but given up on just about everything else, no drives, desires, aspirations anything, until I have someone to seriously care about. I don't want to stop caring so much, I value it as one of my more redeeming qualities. I would like to stop feeling so hurt and disappointed by those who fail to recognize how deeply I care.

The worst part is I keep going back for more. Today I apologized to someone that hung up on me and pretended to not know me. It was very embarassing for me and made me feel like s@*t but there I was saying that I was sorry if he got in trouble. He's a grown man and has been my friend for longer than he's even KNOW his wife, why can't he take a friend call, and WHY would I apologize for hurting me. I am completly hopeless sometimes. I get so mad at myself.

I totally understand the disappointment mostly in myself for even having expectations of others. I even internalize their failings. Jeez

My therapist pointed out to me that i am the cruise director for the good ship lollipop. That i want everybody to be happy all the time which is unrealistic. When i try to make others happy or solve their problems, it's to avoid trying to fix myself cause it appears to be easier. In reality it's easier to deal with my own stuff cause there is a chance of success. I have absolutely no hope of fixing anyone else and ultimately they won't appreciate my efforts and will walk all over me.