I have been working so hard on changing some thing about my reactions to events and practicing CBT,  and it's been doing pretty well so far.  But over the past 2 months my outlook on life in general has been going down hill.   One major contention now is health insurance.   

 I've been having major problems getting health care for 2019  And it started when my state signed up for medicaid.   I had to start at the marketplace and I called them up at the beginning of Nov when the open enrollment started.  They said I had to go through medicaid and they did the application for me and told me they'd sent it to them.  I called medicaid and they said it wasn't in their system yet but it could take 48-72 hours before it would. and after that it would take about 45 days before they processed it.   SO I should have called them back after that to make sure they got it.   So I waited almost a month and decided to call back to discover my status only to find out they never got my application from the marketplace.  I called the marketplace again, they finished the application and sent it in.  SO I called Medicaid a few days later and they still don't see it in their system.     

Where I stand now is that I am going to call Medicaid next week and my health care provider.    It's SO frustrating.    

Today I am feeling very defeated and tired.   Sometimes I wish I'd just go to sleep and never wake up  :'(