I have posted this last year and i felt like doing it again. How do you deal with your problems? May be you have a story to tell.

Here is mine:


Life gets tough at times, yes it does. Problems in life can be overwhelming.

All of us have experienced the deepest of pain, we lost a loved one, illness attack us etc.
How do you deal with your problems?

What are you doing about the pain in your life? It is never going to be easy but we have to learn to live with our pain.

The pain in our lives can either break us down or strengthen us .
There is nothing as a perfect life nor is there anyone who will ever be free of problems.

I am going to share with the group how i deal with problems that come my way
Perhaps you have better ideas that i can learn from you, so lets share.

Confronted with a problem the first step is to acknowledge i have a problem.
I am learning to practice this and it is working for me.

Let me tell you a little bit about me. I have been living with lymphedema of both feet for the past 12 years. This condition results when the lymph system is not functioning properly so it results in swelling and it causes pain.For a while Doctors could not figure out what was wrong with me. My condition was only diagonised 3 years ago. Unfortunately there is no cure although, there are ways of managing the disease. For the past 8 years i have been living in denial i did not want to accept that i had a problem and on top of that my hopes of getting cured one day were too high, i have seen alot of Doctors, i have even lost count. When my condition was correctly diagonised my mind was shattered, i never admitted i had a problem although i experienced pain as a Chemist as i worked long hours in the lab.i always told myself this is just a small problem it will go away. I was living in denial i did not want to accept i had a problem. It was difficult for me to accept it finally but it took me a while i would cry so much and my mind was busy all the time at night i could not sleep. I almost went crazy,i could not handle it, lived in denial for too long.

Here is now my new approach to problems:
1.Acknowledge you have a problem

2.Adress problems as soon as they arise, do not burry them and pretend all is fine

3.Be realistic, here i mean do not have false hope, i am not saying do not have hope at all. For instance i have a chronic disease and it cannot be cured, that is the reality. All i can do is eat healthy, wear my stockings to help with the swelling. I am a christian and sometimes as christians we tend to have false hope( no offence) it is something i have observed among my friends. If you have lymphedema, asthma, diabetic etc these conditions cannot be cured but they can be managed and one can still live a normal life. As christians sometime we have so much hope that God will completely take the condition away. I am not saying it is not possible, miracles do happen and i do believe in miracles, time goes and you see the condition is there you might get frustrated. God heals in so many ways when we have chronic diseases he might not take the condition completely away but he makes it better. he heals in soo many ways by soothing our souls, mending our hearts, sending us caring people in our lives and bettering our conditions.

4.When you have a problem rather focus on the solution and not on the problem itself. When you are experiencing problems avoid using words like: I wish,why me?, I cannot handle this, this is not fair. Rather say this: I have this problem,how do i deal with it? From here where to? How can i make it better? This questions gives room to think of multiple solutions.

Here again i would like to emphasise on things that cannot really be changed e.g my condition, or the death of a loved one. Losing someone dear to you is hard. It takes time to heal. Most people find it hard to let go because they keep wishing that the loved one will come back. One needs counselling and to me that is one way of accepting you have a problem thus seeking help. Get all the support you can get. Find ways of dealing with the depression that results from problems. No matter how hard i try to remain positive i do get days when i feel low. I am glad i have find ways of dealing with my depression. I cannot stay in a corner and cry all the time, i have a life to live. One of the best way of dealing with my depression and it is working a great deal is lending a helping hand.I just love it it is so fulfilling and it reminds me that i have a purpose in this life. It is such a good feeling when i do good to someone and they say thank you or simply smile back. That is soo wonderful i keep wanting to do it over and over again. joining Daily strength was the best cure for my depression, this is where we share. I post alot of topics to groups that i belong to, oh and feels so good when i post something and it touches someone's life, even just one person.I also learnt alot from other people on this site.It is great. I love writing and wont mind doing that all day. I will help kids with their homeworks when i am free, give away my old clothes to charity.

5. Finnally if you have a problem, talk about it, just get it off your chest. Sometimes all we need is a good hear. Cry if you have to, scream if you have when alone. But talk about it over and over again. At first i did not believe in this one but it real works, in the past i will say to myself does it real matter, the person cannot even solve my problem,yes it matters.

There is one point i want to make ,if someone comes to you with their problems and they talk to you about it, no matter how small it might seem, do not be judgemental all you have to do is just listen, you do not always have to give advice especially if you cannot think of anything.
Do not ever say to a person, uh so that is what is worrying you, that is nothing. If a person comes to you to discuss their problems it is because they are troubled and they come to you because they trust you, so do not ever let them down. Just give them a shoulder to cry on.

Lets face challenges in everyday life with a positive