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Feeling worthless

Lilysawyer
Lilysawyer
I've been feeling very low, and lost and lonely. Several friends moved, I have a miserable job with Home Depot. And I just feel like I don't matter anymore. I have suffered from anxiety since I was a kid, but the depression started about the time my mom passed away in 1996. I lived with my brother, but we were not close and he used and abused me (emotionally) and I moved away from him and lived with friends for several years. They moved away and I didn't want to go with them. I moved in with a neighbor and that is where I am living. I've been here for almost a year and a half.

I just feel so disconnected and sometimes I just don't want to go on. :( I have good moments and other times I just don't want to go on.

Things got worse when I turned 50 4 years ago.
mycat
mycat
YES I,M WITH U IT,S HARD.BUT ALL U CAN DO IS KEEP GOING MY DEAR .LOTS OF BIG HUGS
marilyn4342
marilyn4342
Indeed lots of {{ HUGS }}!! I have been in your shoes! People here on DS are always here to listen to you and to emotionally support you! Do you have a close friend or a member of the clergy that you can talk to? We are here !! Continue reaching out! We will listen!!
Yrod
Yrod
Lilysawyer, You are NOT worthless. Obviously you are a well liked and cared for person. Just look at all the people that you have lived with. Not for just a weekend but for very long periods of time. Trust me, I would never allow a person to live with me for years if I did not really care for them.
All of us have times when we just feel sad. You have felt like this for a few years. Maybe, now, it is time to give back and help out some where. I use to volunteer at the local Childrens Home. I was called Auntie. I got hugs and kisses every time I was there. Also, I helped out at a large ranch. My main job was to give the horses a "bath" and keep their coats brushed. Also, I kept their manes pretty. I enjoyed this job a lot. Just get into your phone book and see what is listed there. You will find many places that would interest you. Now please give me a big and pretty smile. Ok?
Lilysawyer
Lilysawyer
Thanks Guys,

I am feeling better today. I went into the city and watched the Wrath of Khan on the IMAX theater in the Air And Space museum.

I am a Trekkie from way back. And loved this movie. Nothing like the reboots.

:D
mycat
mycat
♥ UR VERY WELCOME ♥
onelife2958
onelife2958
I had aniety even before they need kids can have it, my life isn't what I wanted it to be. In the last few years it seem like everyone I loved all died in one year my brother, father, and best friend past within 6 months of each other. Then we had Hurricane Sandy, I lost my house and I was forced to live in public housing not somewhere I never pictured myself living, I can't work due to numerous medical problems.So I was forced into early retirement. Most people make in a week what I make in a month. On the upside I have a wonderful wife, who's unfortunately more Ill then I am she is eventually going to go blind due to Macular degeneration.
I tried suicicide a while back but as you can see it didn't work. All it did was make living harder because I am not afraid of it due to the fact that I know what to expect.
I can count the good moments in my life on both hands and still have some fingers left.
I am around the same age you are, I met so nice people on this site,I haven't been here that long.
But if you feel like you just want to talk to someone I am here to listen (read) lol
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