I’ve been with my husband for a little over three years, and been married for a little over a year 1/2. Physical abuse has always been present but not as much as 3 days ago.

My husband has partial custody of his son (twice a month) and pick up and drop off from school. He spends a lot of time on his phone, playing video games, and only pays attention to his son when he finds it convenient. He is in a really bad custody battle at the moment, and his ex wife and her new husband don’t help. At all. I’m pretty much at a standstill with him. I get agitated with him very quickly, and pissed off as he doesn’t pay attention to him, but also to our 6 month old baby girl, who completely adores him. He only watches her if I need to shower/bathe, cook. He takes 15-25 minutes in the bathroom, when I’m trying to get stuff done around the house, and always makes an excuse to not help me. When he does help, he throws a massive fit. On Saturday, my car broke down on the freeway and he didn’t come help me. That was the first of it. We started arguing about that, and then arguing because he wasn’t doing anything with our son. I got home, he was sitting down, watching TV, as I was watching the baby and doing house work. Im a SAHM to our three kiddos. Anyways, we started arguing. Yelling, cussing, and he told me I needed to leave OUR house. I said no, and he told me I needed too. I Didn’t have the baby in my arms at the time, and I said no, and he spit in my face. Went and got the baby from her swing and proceeded to go into our spare bedroom he stopped me. I had the baby in my left arm, and he shoved me inside. Closed the door. I put the baby in her play pin, with her animals and took a minute to myself. He came back inside and I picked up the baby to hopefully stop him from doing anything. He slapped me. Over and over and over. And it was hard slaps. I cried and cried and begged him to stop. I got up to look in the bathroom, and he came in, and didn’t let me out of the bathroom. I proceeded to push through to get back to my baby, and he slammed my head into the wall, leaving me with a hematoma on the left side of my head. I fell to the ground, threw up right there, and vaguely remember crying hysterically and asking him “what’s happening to me? Don’t leave me what happened? Babe I need you.” He lifted up my bangs, and I had a huge bludge on the side of my head. He said “fuck, Jesus Christ, fuck!” I didn’t want him to go anywhere. I was scared. I was dizzy, I tasted blood, and thought I was going to die. I even told him, “please tell my kids I love them.” He said you aren’t gonna die, but I still heard him. “Jesus Christ, fuck.” He held me, cradled my head, and sat with me. I was scared, alone, worried, and then I ran to the bathroom, sat on the toilet, and cried some more. Him checking on me. My 6 month old wanting me to hold her, and me not having any strength to do it, but did it. He checked on me periodically through the night, my guess to make sure I was breathing. The next day, we didn’t talk at all. I made him and his son breakfast, “thank you” was all I got. He wanted to do the dishes, but I did them and just kept it at that. “Whatever I’m trying to help.” Like that was going to cut it. Slowly started speaking, and then talking more in depth, (nothing about what happened) he said he was truly sorry, but no motion showed it. Ended up sleeping together, and I felt nothing. I wanted to feel loved. Passion. Cared about. I couldn’t. He kissed the left side of my face, but that didn’t do much. We went and got the baby some solid food (she just started on cereal, and sweet potatoes ect) and he was joking, laughing, raising his voice (jokingly) in the store, and I was laughing and smiling too. Then I woke up this morning, and my whole demeanor changed. I couldn’t believe that I was acting like nothing happened. I couldn’t believe I slept with someone who just three days ago, beat me. Has anyone else did this? Slept with their partner after an event and feel loved? Acted like things were fine, only a couple days later, a light switch comes on, and you just aren’t ok? Nothing about you is okay? The situation it’s self is not okay? 

My husband then proceeded to call me and FaceTime our daughter, and he put on a show in front of all his buddies. Like there wasn’t an issue. At all. Which ultimately led to another fight. And I’m always getting him in to trouble at work because we’re always arguing. When he makes it out to be “I’m the crazy one.” “Dang he’s married to a person who just argues non stop!” I didn’t call the police, I didn’t press charges because I don’t work, and don’t have a penny to my name. I have a beautiful home, and family. I’m just really really lost. Really sad. I tried putting on make up, and it just makes it worst. Any one?