Sorry this is so long there will be a tr;dl at the bottom if you’d rather. 

We have been thogether for three and a half years and she was always a substance abuser. Never to anything specific but basically anything she could get her hands on except the extremely hard stuff like meth and heroin. But boy did she love to drink. And she loved to drink in excess. I was always afraid for her 21st birthday. And of course, my fears were right. 

When she would drink it was like spinning a wheel of “what kind of drunk is she going to be tonight?” She would be extremely sad, mad, hateful, and just generally emotionally unstable. Keep in mind she is very mentally ill and has a background with trauma and an alcoholic mother who gave her up at 7 years old. 

She would say and do awful things she knew would hurt me and basically anyone she talked to. For me, she would call me names. Stupid, loser, fat, ugly, said I didn’t put out enough. She would grab me, slap me, hit me, and push me but that didn’t happen as often. But one time she held me down to the grand by my neck. Bringing up how my mom is fat and stupid and no one liked her. You get the gist, just awful things. 

Then she got really bad. She got fired from two jobs in two weeks for drinking. She started drinking behind my back and lying to me when I got homes about being drunk. She would drink four natty daddy’s which is 96 ounces of higher than normal alcohol content beer. She would get fucking wasted everyday. 

One day, when she was 2 months sober (like the third time trying, 7 months after it got bad) i came home after work and found her fucking WASTED. She didn’t lie about it this time which I appreciate to an extent, but she was mean as soon as I got through the door. Saying awful stuff to me and her grandmother. We were on the phone with her and at one point my girlfriend pushed me from behind and I fell and accidentally through her phone because I was holding it. After that, and a little more emotional abuse from her, her grandmother told me to call the police. This wasn’t my first time calling either. 

When I called the police, they said there was nothing they could do except give her a disorderly warning. He made a plan with me that he was going to hang around a little bit longer Incase something happened. And then when they left, she strangled me. Both hands around my throat. Grabbing, then letting go, grabbing then letting go. I then screamed and ran out of my apartment and told the officer. She then got arrested, out in jail for three weeks, and then came home. That was three months ago. In that time she has not drank, done any drugs, or even tried to convince me to let drink which is huge. 

She he went to rehab and she’s going to AA and I seriously thinks she means it. But I am still haunted by everything that has happened in the past year. I already have PTSD from several other things in my life and I am a wreck. I’m staying because she is proving herself but I’m struggling and I don’t have anyone to talk to. So that why I came here. Thanks for reading. Advice that doesn’t tell me to leave her is greatly appreciated. (if I wanted people to tell me to leave I would just talk to my small group of friends) or if you just want to give general support I’d like that  

tr;dl my girlfriend was a drunk and extremely emotionally abusive and occasionally physically abusive. One night she strangled me and got sent to jail. She came home with a different attitude, went to rehab, and is showing all signs of actually recovering. Although, I’m still having flash backs and generally suffering. Please don’t tell me to leave her but I would appreciate advice or just support. Thanks.