Divorce and Healing Community Group

Divorce Sucks... It splits families, breaks hearts, hurts children, leads to depression, even suicide - you get the point. It is a devastating chaotic event that shakes even the most sound and positive person and makes them crazy lunatics... I joined hoping to connect with others whose lives have been affected by divorce. However, there is not 1 group that I saw at least...

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Divorce and feelings of hopelessness

bethmach
bethmach

I am new to this forum. Left my husband 4 years ago after 24 year relationship. 17 years of it married. We have an 11 year old daughter. I had been very depressed and unhappy in my marriage several years before leaving.  Made the mistake of friending my first childhood crush on Facebook who was persistent in reconnecting. I did and fell for him. Decided to leave my husband. It was impulsive and irrational but I did it within 2 months time. My husband begged me to go ro counseling and to work things out. I declined. Needless to say this childhood crush reconnect didn't work out. My ex moved on within 10 months and states he is in love with new gal of now 3 1/2 years. For past four years I have been depressed. The last two years I am feeling reality of what I did and in major depression. Cannot work, eat, sleep, or function. Feeling at end of my rope. Have to soldier on for my daughter. But most days the pain is unbearable. I screwed up big time.

PositiveThoughts2018
PositiveThoughts2018
Yes you did screw up big time, own it. You have acknowledged it in your post, now you have to forgive yourself for the choices you've made in your life and accept the reality your ex has moved on. It's not easy but you must.
You reconnected with your childhood friend for a reason: something was missing in your marriage. You needed validation, to feel that spark that was missing and apparently this person gave you that, temporarily. Let it go, it's done.
You have a very important person in your life: your daughter. Set an example for her. Do things with her, show her that Mom is going to be okay. Be grateful she is with you and not your ex.
Best wishes to you.
yoyosh
yoyosh
I know the feeling. I ended 17 year marriage and we have two small children and it was me too who reconnected with first love. It didn’t work out. But my ex husband didn’t really persist for counselling nor did I feel he fought for me in anyway. At first I was relieved to be out of the marriage but I miss the kids when they are with him and reality of a broken family kicked in much later. I don’t have words of advice. I hope just knowing that you are not alone may help. I totally know how you feel,
bethmach
bethmach
Thank you both for your replies. PositiveThoughts2018, I now realize my decision was for the best. My struggle has been what yoyosh has described. Reality of a broken family. That is the feeling of loss. But my ex was not present in our family prior to breakup due to work, friends, and extracurricular activities. For many years. Family was not a priority for him. So I realize its more of the idea of what I lost. We are all much happier now. Yoyosh, here for you if you ever need to talk!